I don't communicate well

I love reading the comments to my journal entries, there are always lots of good advice. But I am not consistent in my actions. I just said the in my last journal entry that I wasn't going to call my son until 30 days had past, unless he called me before that. Well last night on my way home from visiting with Dorothy I just had to try one call and amazingly he answered. I tried to keep it light and succeeded, he told me he thought the weather was beginning to warm up in New Jersey. Then he said he was talking to his counselor and the counselor told him he should go to see a medical doctor. I asked why? my son said he didn't know. Finally he said maybe it was because he told he had a headache. Then they asked for his insurance card so they determine what doctor he could go to. Guess what, my intelligent ex and my intelligent son thought they would never need to use the health insurance so my ex kept his card and my son doesn't even know what kind of insurance he has. To make the story worse and longer, my son asks his dad to send him a xerox copy of his card. That takes a few days because he literally had to find a xerox machine made a copy then scanned into his computer and sent it as an attachment to an email...the man has a scanner. He also has an engineering degree and has worked for 33 years as an electronics engineer so he is very up to date on anything to do with computers. I just can't believe either one of them. So then my son told him he actually had to have the card in his possession when he goes to the doctor. So now he has to wait until my ex mails it to him. Meanwhile back at the ranch, my son waits to see a doctor. My son has an eating problem. My ex has never wanted to admit it or even allow anyone(namely me!)to speak to a doctor or his therapist about it. My son only eats plain pasta, soda, candy, chicken strips from Burger King, french fries, gatorade, apples, raw carrots, white dinner rolls, Pillsbury crescent rolls and plain yellow or white cake(no frosting!). For awhile I got him to eat Spaghettio's, but that boat I believe has sailed. Oh and cereal. That is literally the extent of what he will eat. I got him just before I was thrown out of the house to have an Insure once a day, thinking if he had the vitamins etc, maybe his appetite would get strong enough he might eat something new. But no such luck. He knows he doesn't eat properly or healthfully, but he just can't seem to force any other food down. Last year he stopped eating right after Spring Break and go so weak he couldn't get out of bed. He called me and was scared and sick. I told him he had to tell the RA or his roommate to bring him food and that he had to eat whatever they brought him or he would die! Needless to say he was too embarrassed to say anything but he did manage to find some Insure that he had hidden away. When he got well enough to go to CVS and get more he managed to make it home after the semester. But I think he is back to his old ways. Also he claims his dad sends him $50 a week to live on and it isn't always enough to cover what he needs. I told him he needs to ask for more. He said his dad sent $20 when he told him his Video class required him to go to NYC to the Metropolitan Museum of Art(not sure if I have the right name) I guess it cost Kyle almost $20 to get there on the trains and it cost almost $20 to get in. The man drives me to drink sometimes! He makes(without my alimony)$100,000 a year. What does he spend it on? My son pays for all his schooling with student loans, because my ex makes too much money so he doesn't qualify for any grants or scholarships. My son goes to a private school. The cost is a lot by the standards I have lived by. But it is a good school and the cost will be made up by the education he receives. But my son has to figure all this out on his own, all I can do is offer a teeny tiny bit of advice and just let nature take its course. So maybe in a few weeks I will find out what actually happens. I ended the conversation on a good note and told him I loved him. I think he felt bad about his behavior in not answering the phone or emails or anything when I tried to reach him. He mumbled on several occasions he was sorry for how he treated me. I accepted his comments and said we needed to move on and just make sure it doesn't happen again.
I am going to post  a picture of my new chair. In reality it really isn't anything to talk about, but it is something I have been asking for and wanting since I first found out I was pregnant with my son! over 20 years ago. My ex always said we couldn't afford anything like it, but within a month of my leaving he bought one for the living room of our old house, "Because we have needed a chair to sit in forever! but you would never buy anything!" To this day I want to cry about that, I can't believe how bad it hurts to hear him tell these lies and know the kids believe him. But that is all in the past and I have to move on past it. Thank goodness when I sit in the chair no memories come to me, I just enjoy it for what it is.
I am not repressing my emotions with my snap band, only trying to control my crying. When I am in the presence of my family if I show any emotions they will just walk away from me. It will never matter to them that I could be right or even in need of help, they just refuse to know it. But believe me I need to accept and help them whenever they have emotions and I better darn well sympathize with what ever they are emotional about. It is only a one way street with them. But I will never again repress my emotions, I will always feel them and let them out, just not any where it can affect anyone that doesn't understand how to deal with someone else's emotions.
For some reason I am not able to truly communicate what I feel or think. I talk(and of course write)profusely but evidently I say nothing. So I am going to look for a communication class that can teach what I am not able to do on my own. Any ideas of where to find such a class at a price I can afford would be greatly appreciated.
Well tonight is the night after the "Storm" and it is supposed to get really cold, so cold I was warned to leave the water run in the bath room so the hoses don't burst if they freeze. It is 9:09pm and my outside thermometer say it is already 38 degrees, so it could easily get to 32 by early morning. We shall see. Goodnight!