I Died Too

I have a picture of Bill and me.... on my screensaver.    A picture of WE.    As the picture flashed by again this afternoon my eyes were drawn more to me than to Bill.   Because I realized for the first time that the me in the picture has died too.
Bill died and I did too.    My life in that photo is gone.  And the woman is not me anymore.  Because she was part of a team. 
All that is left is a woman that I don't really know. 
I don't want to be her.
I really just don't want to be her.
I am at the one year + 2 wk mark and am living my life as Bill's wife and as my children's mother.    
Saying good bye, letting go..........whatever you call it............that seems like turning my back on Bill and on our life.  I just won't do it.  I will not erase our life and our love.