I didn't cry or think about this for 48 hours

I'm not really upset or anything. As a matter of fact, nothing traumatic happened.  I have been through 48 hours of dry-eyed bliss.  One could even say that I was functioning normally.  I went about planning my day and calling my clients.  I even went to a Xmas party tonight.I did not think about our situation of having fertility problems.  I did not think about how I should have had my period by now.  My RE told me to call him if it did not show up.  That was two weeks ago.  I really should get on that.  But I haven't.  I don't feel like facing the fact that it may be a reality that I need donor eggs.You know what kills me?  The amount of money it takes to do this with donor eggs.  This is def. a loan situation.To top things off, I'm being completely vain.  I'm thinking I look a little chunky (newsflash, um you had surgery 6 weeks and 4 days ago, they frown on going to the gym during the recovery period).Makes no sense.I found a picture of my super cute nephew.  He's really the sweetest thing you've ever laid eyes on.  I looked at the picture of his innocent face and his huge brown eyes and felt so sad.On top of that, my hubby has been having headaches everyday since Monday.I'm worried that he has a tumor or something and we can't go to the doctor because I'm the only one with health care coverage.  What if something is wrong with him and we could not find it in time.  Is this why God has decided to put us on this path?I can barely deal with not having children naturally, but to take away my partner/lover/husband/best friend/most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me....would put me over the edge.I can face this terrible road with him.  I can't face it without him.