I Did it!!! I confronted him!!!
I cant believe i am writing this!!! ...i actually did it!!! i confronted my father about the SA. I am still a little shocked i did it. How brave of me! I am a strong person! Wow, i feel so much better not carrying around his secret. I also told my sister and mother. I am VERY fortunate that my family is being so supportive. They both believe me. Well my mom is divorced from him and was hurt by him too, so its easier for her to support me. My sister is still in contact with him, so its alot harder for her. So... When i was home for Christmas, I confronted my father about what he did to me. God, that feels so good to say. I told him that i remembered, i remembered what he did to me. He tried to act like he didnt know what i was talking about and walked away! but when i told him my attorney would be in contact with him, he came back and started being very nice all of a sudden. I told him how much it hurt me and how it has affected me my entire life. I told him that he thought he got away with it for the past 35 years, but he is not going to get away with it anymore. I told him i was considering all my options including legal/criminal/civil charges or that i might be kind and come to some sort of settlment with him. I told him i didnt want to see a 65 year old man go to jail, but I have been in prisoned for the past 35 years, and people need to stop getting away with this shit! To which he replied: "So tell me what i can do for you?" LOL {shaking my head in disgust}. My father doesnt have an ounce of compassion in him, he doesnt care about what sort of problems i might be having, or how his physical/emotional/pscyhological/sexual abuse has effected me, or why i havent called to talk to him for the past year. When he says, "tell me what i can do for you" he is simply saying how much money do you want? I told him i didnt want his money, but that he WAS going to pay some sort of consequence for what he did to me. His response was, "I'm sorry" (huh) I told him sorry doesnt cut it! I am open to any and all thoughts and feedback on this. I am not sure where to take it fom here, but i feel GREAT about what i did!!!
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Wow, that has to feel great. Good for you. You showed a great deal of strength to look him in the eye and tell him just how much he damaged your life. I am on the fence as far as taking his money, but then look at all you went thru, the years of struggle you had to endure all because of him. Now he has to sit with all this, but by the sounds of it, he does not care. Guess you have to go with your gut on this one. I am sitting here thinking what would I do, and to process what I would do before making any kind of decisions. HMMMM I once talked to an attorney about suing the foster care system for the hell the foster care people put me thru living in that foster home for 16 years where I was abused in all areas, but I had the statute of limitations against me because it was so long ago. But girl, had it not been I would have sued their butts off.
Maybe your therapist can work this out with you before you make a decisions. I noticed you presented this question before DS. Will be interesting the response since I just read this journal now, January 23. Think he got scared when you mentioned jail and he damn well should be scared. He did not think of his actions when he was abusing you. Keep me informed of your decision.
So proud of you. You are a Warrior!!!!!!!!!!!!