i did it again

i cant stop the pain of every thing is to much i did it again sh why me i just dont know any more i feel so alone i know i got friends on ds but my mind is saying i have no one and i feel like im not good  for any thing im so tired of every thing  my flash backs and my dads death is takeing a toll on me im going to church to night  i cant wate to see what there doing to night  the dr and every body messed with my meds i can barely sleep now