I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL
I THINK THAT IS THE BEST PART ABOUT KNOWING JESUS CHRIST AS MY LORD AND MY SAVIOR. I COULD IN NO WAY EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO GO TO HEAVEN IF IT WASN'T FOR HIS FINISHED WORK ON THE CROSS ALMOST 2000 YEARS AGO. I'M JUST A FUCK UP AND I USE WORDS LIKE FUCK UP. I STILL DON'T ACT ALL THE TIME LIKE A GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY, BUT JESUS IS STILL IN MY HEART. YES, I'VE GOTTEN BETTER OVER THE DECADES OF KNOWING HIM, AND HE HAS PROMISED IN HIS PRECIOUS WORD THAT "HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL COMPLETE IT UNTIL THE DAY OF CHRIST JESUS."
LIKE I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE, I AM THE CHIEF OF SINNERS...MOSTLY BECAUSE OF MY PAST, BUT I STILL DO THINGS ON OCCASION THAT "GOOD CHRISTIANS" SHOULDN'T AND DON'T DO. LIKE, AS YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN, I CUSS WHEN IT'S NECESSARY TO DRIVE HOME A POINT OR TO ADD EMPHASIS, I SMOKE CIGARETTES, AND I OCCASIONALLY SMOKE SOME WEED WHEN IT'S AVAILABLE WHICH COMBINED, MAKES ME A TOTAL LEPER IN CHRISTIAN CIRCLES.
SO THE BIG QUESTION IS...CAN I TRULY BE SAVED BY GOD THROUGH HIS BELOVED SON JESUS CHRIST IF I STILL COMMIT SUCH HANUS SINS ON A CONSISTANT BASIS?
I AM THE "BADBOY" OF CHRISTIANITY AT LEAST IN MY OWN HEAD. I TRULY TRULY BELIEVE THAT THE LORD JESUS CHRIST LIVED A PEFECT LIFE AND AND DIED AN AGONIZING DEATH ON THE CROSS SO I WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING "GOOD ENOUGH" TO MAKE IT INTO HEAVEN. IS THAT OR IS THAT NOT WHAT THE GOSPEL IS ALL ABOUT? THAT I CAN LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF KNOWING JESUS AND LET ME TAKE MY LUMPS AND TEACH ME THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT HOW TO GET ALONG BETTER IN LIFE JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER WITH EVERY FALL.
BELIEVE ME, I FEEL IT IN MY CHEST EVERY TIME I HURT OR OFFEND SOMEONE. IF FACT, THEY CALL ME MR. SORRY FOR HOW OFTEN I APOLOGIZE AFTER I SAY OR DO SOMETHING STUPID. MY SORRIES DON'T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM SUCH A GIANT FUCK UP. I HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE MY LIFE JUST KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER KEEP QUIET AND HAVE PEOPLE THINK THAT I'M AN ASSHOLE THAN TO OPEN MY MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT. I AM SO AWKWARD AROUND PEOPLE AND I HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE. GETTING BULLIED SO MUCH GROWING UP DIDN'T HELP. IT JUST MADE ME REALLY ANGERY AND I LIVE WITH THAT ANGER DAILY. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE SAYING THAT "HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE?" WELL, THIS IS WHAT I STRUGGLE WITH, SO I STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT WITH THE HOPE OF NOT OFFENDING ANYONE.
THE POINT IS THAT...I NEED A SAVIOR AND MAYBE MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER NEEDED A SAVIOR BEFORE. YES, I'M OVER EXAGERATING, BUT YOU GET THE POINT. AND WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE GOSPEL IN A LITTLE COUNTRY CHURCH IN HUMBOLDT, ARIZONA AT 15 YEARS OLD, 15 MONTHS AFTER MY DAD DIED, I KNEW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I NEEDED A SAVIOR, AND JESUS FIT THE BILL PERFECTLY. GOD SPOKE TO MY HEART THAT NIGHT AND SAID, I WANT TO BE YOUR DADDY, AND I LEARNED LATER THAT IT SAID IN HIS WORD THAT HE IS THE FATHER TO THE FATHERLESS, AND OF COURSE, I THANKED HIM AS I BAWLED MY EYES OUT HEARING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. SO I AM GOD'S BRATTY SON, OR WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID, HIS PUNK ASS BITCH SON, OR BETTER YET, HIS LAZY, GOOD FOR NOTHING, WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, SON. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS, I AM HIS SON!!! SO GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY, THROW ALL THE STONES YOU WANT, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I'M GOING WHEN I DIE...DO YOU?
WHO AM I...GZUStHUG MOTHERFUCKA!(DROP THE MIC AND WALK AWAY)
LIKE I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE, I AM THE CHIEF OF SINNERS...MOSTLY BECAUSE OF MY PAST, BUT I STILL DO THINGS ON OCCASION THAT "GOOD CHRISTIANS" SHOULDN'T AND DON'T DO. LIKE, AS YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN, I CUSS WHEN IT'S NECESSARY TO DRIVE HOME A POINT OR TO ADD EMPHASIS, I SMOKE CIGARETTES, AND I OCCASIONALLY SMOKE SOME WEED WHEN IT'S AVAILABLE WHICH COMBINED, MAKES ME A TOTAL LEPER IN CHRISTIAN CIRCLES.
SO THE BIG QUESTION IS...CAN I TRULY BE SAVED BY GOD THROUGH HIS BELOVED SON JESUS CHRIST IF I STILL COMMIT SUCH HANUS SINS ON A CONSISTANT BASIS?
I AM THE "BADBOY" OF CHRISTIANITY AT LEAST IN MY OWN HEAD. I TRULY TRULY BELIEVE THAT THE LORD JESUS CHRIST LIVED A PEFECT LIFE AND AND DIED AN AGONIZING DEATH ON THE CROSS SO I WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING "GOOD ENOUGH" TO MAKE IT INTO HEAVEN. IS THAT OR IS THAT NOT WHAT THE GOSPEL IS ALL ABOUT? THAT I CAN LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF KNOWING JESUS AND LET ME TAKE MY LUMPS AND TEACH ME THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT HOW TO GET ALONG BETTER IN LIFE JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER WITH EVERY FALL.
BELIEVE ME, I FEEL IT IN MY CHEST EVERY TIME I HURT OR OFFEND SOMEONE. IF FACT, THEY CALL ME MR. SORRY FOR HOW OFTEN I APOLOGIZE AFTER I SAY OR DO SOMETHING STUPID. MY SORRIES DON'T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM SUCH A GIANT FUCK UP. I HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE MY LIFE JUST KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER KEEP QUIET AND HAVE PEOPLE THINK THAT I'M AN ASSHOLE THAN TO OPEN MY MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT. I AM SO AWKWARD AROUND PEOPLE AND I HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE. GETTING BULLIED SO MUCH GROWING UP DIDN'T HELP. IT JUST MADE ME REALLY ANGERY AND I LIVE WITH THAT ANGER DAILY. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE SAYING THAT "HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE?" WELL, THIS IS WHAT I STRUGGLE WITH, SO I STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT WITH THE HOPE OF NOT OFFENDING ANYONE.
THE POINT IS THAT...I NEED A SAVIOR AND MAYBE MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER NEEDED A SAVIOR BEFORE. YES, I'M OVER EXAGERATING, BUT YOU GET THE POINT. AND WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE GOSPEL IN A LITTLE COUNTRY CHURCH IN HUMBOLDT, ARIZONA AT 15 YEARS OLD, 15 MONTHS AFTER MY DAD DIED, I KNEW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I NEEDED A SAVIOR, AND JESUS FIT THE BILL PERFECTLY. GOD SPOKE TO MY HEART THAT NIGHT AND SAID, I WANT TO BE YOUR DADDY, AND I LEARNED LATER THAT IT SAID IN HIS WORD THAT HE IS THE FATHER TO THE FATHERLESS, AND OF COURSE, I THANKED HIM AS I BAWLED MY EYES OUT HEARING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. SO I AM GOD'S BRATTY SON, OR WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID, HIS PUNK ASS BITCH SON, OR BETTER YET, HIS LAZY, GOOD FOR NOTHING, WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, SON. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS, I AM HIS SON!!! SO GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY, THROW ALL THE STONES YOU WANT, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I'M GOING WHEN I DIE...DO YOU?
WHO AM I...GZUStHUG MOTHERFUCKA!(DROP THE MIC AND WALK AWAY)
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