I decided....

My life has its ups and downs,  I recently got laid off , from a no so great job.  I'm currently on unemployment. 
But this is the thing...Alonso is very tune to my needs, he pick up more gigs, and has encourage me to go back to school; which has been something in the back of my mind for the longest.  He keeps reassuring me that I can become anything I want despite my age.
It's funny because we don't really argue...but we talk things out.  There have been times that we have not agree, and at times I have have been annoy by his need to clean the rugs on a Saturday morning while I just feel like going for a bike ride.  Or why oh why does he has to have something green at dinner?   Why does he insist that I eat vegetables?  I don't like them.  And then he hears that vitamin D is important for woman, he even hears a program where the doctor says studies prove that is good for woman with cyst, which I have, and on his way home he does a turn and get it for me.  
Looking back I hated the woman I became when I was married to my ex.  I was deeply depressed, anxious and at times down right mean.  I was angry, at the world, at God-sorry God-at my ex, but most importantly I was angry with myself.  How did I let this man abuse me for so many years?  Why?  It took years of therapy to find myself back.
Today I'm honestly smiling most of the time.  When I disagree with anything in my relationship I have found that I can articulate what bothers me very well.  I have learn to trust again.  And Alonso will self reflect and apologize when he feels the need to.  I learn that at times I'm wrong also but I'm no longer afraid that because I'm wrong my relationship will be over.  I'm free.  I'm strong.  I'm me.  I also find it ironic  that 3 years back I wouldn't have even glanced at a man like Alonso.
My relationship with my daughter its much better,  she recently got a job at an art gallery.  She is still in college and has a lot to figure out for herself...but we talk almost every other day, and this days she is the one doing most of the calling.
And I also know in my heart that I have found a great man who loves me and cherished me.  It's funny to see his wide smile every time he sees me.  Every time. 
 
I decided I will marry him.  Because I love him, he loves me back.  His kids and my kids are friends and talk to each other often.  But I am marrying him because we still dance on Sunday mornings, because I still believe in happy endings.  The kind of happy endings one have to work hard for.  But happy endings where love still reigns.