I cant do this anymore

I know this entry may piss a lot of you off and believe me thats not what I'm trying to do. I want you all to know that I love you all and will always be grateful to eveyone here. Without you all I would never be able to survive this. But sometimes I feel like I cant do it anymore. I feel like I am feeling whatever I am reading at the moment. If one of you is having a good day and have made it over a huge hurdle then so do I. If your sad and miserable and missing your loved one then so am I. I cant handle it. I luv you all but I dont want to be stuck in my grief for the rest of my life. I want to move on. I need to move on. I will always love Bruce but I dont want to be grieving him forever. I dont mind missing him,loving him and cherishing our memories but I DONT want to be longing for him to come home and holding me and telling me that he loves me. Wanting the things that I know I cant have just brings me pain. I dont want the pain anymore. I dont want to be on here 5years from now and feeling the same way and writing the same things. I want to get better. I'm not saying we dont all want that, I just need a break from it all. i luv you all but I dont want to need you I hope you hear what I'm trying to say. I hate feeling needy. I need to be strong.