I cannot seem to move forward
It is almost five months since I lost you, my love, my life. Things are so crazy and intense and everyting that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Now our tenant has to move since "someone" turned the basement apartment in on us. She is moving next week and no more rent to keep me afloat.
I have to start with real estates Joe and I have no clue how to begin and how is going to be trying to put on over on me when they see I have no idea what to do. Our mortgage is so high that I may make just a bit above the amount to live on..but then again you exwife and sons are going to take half of it toward your estate. They are still suing me and trying to get the small amount we had saved in our joint account. They just dont get the fact that it was used for your burial. They just dont care...they stlll want the money.
I feel like my heart is broken in half and I just dont want to continue without you anymore. I am suppose to sell the house, go back to brooklyn in the apartment above my mom (which we just finished moving me out of to come here!) Nicole is looking for an apartment and wants to move out so she can be on her own (cant blame her..she is young and doing so well!) You would be so proud of her continued success Joe! How can I sit in that apartment alone again? Remember how hard it was for me and I always had you on the other end of the phone when I needed you? Now I cannot pick up the phone to talk to you. You will never be coming over late a night just to see me and bring me back to our house here. I no longer have my job to go to each day, so no real reason for me to be in brooklyn anymore. My mom is getting so old that I know I will be caring for her now too and with my illness it is so hard. I cannot drive to the shore like I always did and enjoy the water and sunset or to a store just to pass the time.
Please give me some of your strength to endure and move along in the right direction. I long to lay next to you and feel safe just for one night again. You were my rock and always there for me if I needed a few words of strength or just and I love you. I cannot even imagine not geting in the car now in spring and heading upstate to open the house. Your sons will not allow me up there at all Joe. Just simple things I left up there like our champayne bottle from our wedding and my graduation, the bench we were married in front of. There simple things mean so much to me and I just want to hang on to anything that we did together. No more AC trips with our free nights and getting lost every time. I cannot even go by myself or with my famly now with this damn inner ear issues. I wish I would just die in my sleep and wake up with you in heaven. I love you so much...ME
I have to start with real estates Joe and I have no clue how to begin and how is going to be trying to put on over on me when they see I have no idea what to do. Our mortgage is so high that I may make just a bit above the amount to live on..but then again you exwife and sons are going to take half of it toward your estate. They are still suing me and trying to get the small amount we had saved in our joint account. They just dont get the fact that it was used for your burial. They just dont care...they stlll want the money.
I feel like my heart is broken in half and I just dont want to continue without you anymore. I am suppose to sell the house, go back to brooklyn in the apartment above my mom (which we just finished moving me out of to come here!) Nicole is looking for an apartment and wants to move out so she can be on her own (cant blame her..she is young and doing so well!) You would be so proud of her continued success Joe! How can I sit in that apartment alone again? Remember how hard it was for me and I always had you on the other end of the phone when I needed you? Now I cannot pick up the phone to talk to you. You will never be coming over late a night just to see me and bring me back to our house here. I no longer have my job to go to each day, so no real reason for me to be in brooklyn anymore. My mom is getting so old that I know I will be caring for her now too and with my illness it is so hard. I cannot drive to the shore like I always did and enjoy the water and sunset or to a store just to pass the time.
Please give me some of your strength to endure and move along in the right direction. I long to lay next to you and feel safe just for one night again. You were my rock and always there for me if I needed a few words of strength or just and I love you. I cannot even imagine not geting in the car now in spring and heading upstate to open the house. Your sons will not allow me up there at all Joe. Just simple things I left up there like our champayne bottle from our wedding and my graduation, the bench we were married in front of. There simple things mean so much to me and I just want to hang on to anything that we did together. No more AC trips with our free nights and getting lost every time. I cannot even go by myself or with my famly now with this damn inner ear issues. I wish I would just die in my sleep and wake up with you in heaven. I love you so much...ME
Replies
Ann my heart breaks for you as I read everything you are going through. At 5 months you are still early on in your grief and you have had so much to deal with. Take a deep breath and focus on one day at a time. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Hugs Lu Ann
Ann,
Nothing is stronger then prayer, Nothing is stronger than God. God can conquer all the enemy throws are way. Remember that and say it over and over again.
Here is a prayer for you to say.
Dear Lord God in Heaven, I praise Your Holy Name, Father, I am in great financial need. I have no way of affording my home because my tenant is moving, I am asking you to do Your Will regarding this, If it is for me to stay in my home and not sell, please send Your earthly angels and Heavenly angels to make this happen.
If I am to move out and sell, I ask that Your Heavenly and Earthly Angels surround me to make this all done for Your Glory.
Father, I am so weak but You are strong, Please be my strength if I can not endure it, Please endure it for me. I give my all to You Lord God in Heaven.
I ask this in Jesus name,
Amen
Ann, you are not alone God is there with you, ask Him to please show You what you should do.
That tiny voice, you think is your conscious is really the Holy Spirit.
Luke 12:12 (GNT)
For the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.
Hebrews 3:7 (GNT)
So then, as the Holy Spirit says, If you hear God\'s voice today,
Listen to it.
Hugs,
Judy
I agree with LuAnn, I wish I had sage words of wisdom for you. It just plain SUCKS to have to go through all we do, AND try to live without the love of our lives.
The only advice I CAN give you is to hire an real estate attorney if your estate attorney does not do this, and let HIM or HER fight this out with the kids. It\'s SHOCKING that kids can be so unfeeling! I know it happens but it still shocks me FOR YOU!!
All I can do is to tell you I am thnking of you, and HOPING that there is a LIGHT at the end of this for you, because you SO DESERVE there to be! I REALLY hope that there is some much needed and well deserved PEACE in your future! and that you somehow CAN get that champagne bottle back! I am SO SHOCKED and hurting FOR YOU!!
HUGS as many as i can give diane