I can't help it.

The close friends that I told about my cutting are always asking me why would you do that? Or how can you do that? My answer is always: I can't help it. Sometimes I feel that its the only thing that I can control in my life and its the only way I can truly get my anger and feelings out. I have tried talking to my friends, writing, listening to music, or just leaving and going for a walk. These don't satisfy me and don't let me get my feelings out. So I cut. And sometimes I can't help it. I have the urge, and I give in. I have been clean for 12 days, and I feel like I can't last much longer.