I can\'t do this!
So after posting my thread 'Circles' on here yesterday I decided to try again with the food. I talked to my Mum so she knew I wanted to try again too. I had the food I would have had at day patients (I didn't go yesterday) which was morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack, and then I had my dinner and pudding at night like I'm supposed to. By the end of the night I felt awful and self harmed. Today I got up with the doubts, I didn't want to do it but I was cheered up a bit when my Mum's flowers came for tomorrow. I asked for reassurance from my Mum about what I should do today after last night. Continue with the plan or not. She told me to continue. I had lunch and Mum went out. I freaked about putting on the weight and thought fuck it, i've already screwed up restricting yesterday and today which means I'm GOING to put on weight! I binged. Now I want to self harm again and eat nothing for the rest of today...and tomorrow... and ever again! I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!
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