I can't do this

It's like everyday now I'm fighting with myself. I try to stay positive and tell myself everything will work out but lately I'm too tired. I'm tired of fighting and feeling like something in my head is just continuously beating me down. I'm exhausted and it seems like the more help I get the stronger it becomes. Isn't it suppose to work the other way? You find people to help and then you get stronger and the voice gets weaker? 
I feel like I'm failing at everything and just want it to be over. I don't know if I want it to be better because I don't know that I have the strength to enjoy it. The few moments I get of calm are spent trying to recoup. It almost feels like I have less energy when I'm OK than when I'm not. I want... I don't even know anymore.