I can't believe

I'm back here again after months of being "on the wagon".  I am craving junk and mainly sugar.  Feel fat, sick, bloated and weak, but can't seem to stop myself.  it wasn't even an emotional craving that set me off this time, it was literally a low blood sugar moment, shakes, hunger.  I had some bruschettas and crisps and it went from there every day...

I'd been doing so well.  I have Sleeper tomorrow and can't meet Louise feeling and looking like this and Wales in November when I will be in a cossie infront of Nic and Nick...it's the behaviour I get addicted to I think, as well as the tranquilising feeling of the food.  the excitement and first few bites.  It doens't last though.  the reason i stopped for so long last time wasn't even vanity, it was my health.  I don't want diabetes or anything else horrible, particularly as I have no-one to watch out for me when I'm older.  Might not live to be old anyway and that mightn't be a bad thing.