I Can See Clearly Now

Throughout my life God has always let me know when a great change is about to occur.  And so He did two years ago.  Now, I look at my life and very little is left to remind me of my old life.
Some of the changes:
My stepdaughter and I are super close
My husband has transitioned
I discovered that my father does not love me.
I discovered that it didn't matter if my father didn't love me.
And, I'm buying a house.
 I can read in Spanish a little
 
Now that's what you call major changes. 
 
Looking at my list, I see happiness and sadness.  It's certainly good that my step-daughter and I enjoy a wonderful relationship.  But I wish my husband were here to see it.  And my father, well I wish for the man I imagined him to be.  I've come to know that I created a person who never existed.  Now, I've come to terms with that.  It really doesn't matter if he loves me or not.  It matters only that God loves me.  And that much I know. 
So, I have my wonderful Father in heaven and he guided me to getting a house.  A house is something I never wanted.  I enjoy the comfort of apartments--of knowing that everything is cared for and you always know what you're expected to spend.  Now I see the true reason I loved apartments is the freedom to just get up and walk away when you want to.  Doesn't take a psychiatrist for me to know that my father is the root of that.  But the house is something that will offer me security.  I'll pay it off and live rent free when I'm old and gray.   And that means a comfortable retirement.  I should have done it sooner.  My poor husband tried to tell me that, but I can be stubborn when I want to be.
 
Anyhow, I'm really enjoying life.  Yesterday I had my cataract surgery and today I'm reading out of the eye without glasses.  Truly weird since I've been wearing glasses over twenty-five years.  One more surgery and I'll have normal vision. 
 
So, that's it for now.