I Can

I Can All that time spent thinking of death and dying Somewhere deep inside my body sighing Haven't I thought this all out before? Still I convince myself I can't take anymore  Useless days entertained in my head Contemplating the ways I could make this be the end Useless I'll tell you because I know no one knows If dying relieves us of any of our woes  Oh dear God, how can I take anymore? There is so much sadness, loneliness, and bore All wound up in a tight little ball So justified I feel 10 feet tall  I just can't, is the lie I tell myself So I can stay right where I am to deny any kind of help Till I'm firmly convinced I can't live one more day There has got to be a way to make it all go away  It's at this time that I caress my gun But what of the darkness and never seeing the sun? What if the voices continue even when dead? What if what you take with you is your sweet insane head?  Panic now drives me to the phone Hoping and praying somebody is home For all I know, death will not relieve my pain To kill myself is surely insane  To leave the living with no solution My family's inheritance no evolution But why must I keep carrying all this grief?May be to help find a solution so you get relief  Perhaps this is how it's supposed to be I can do it for you when I can't do it for me  Then I'm living but yet another day A smile even crosses my face? I'm helping you stay sane Courting death is such a stupid thing to do Cause I fear it and I love me and I love you  There really is so much more of life to love I'm worthy of living, I was given life from above I have trees and wind and birds singing that are friends And one day all lives naturally come to an end. But no doubt I'll probably go through this again.