I broke NC yesterday but . . . reset PART 2
So I emailed her at 5:00 to cancel our meeting because I was so mad at her for manipulating me into her conflict with her H that had nothing whatsoever to do with me. Before I had hung up on her earlier I had told her that I was done with her drama and manipulations and not respecting what I wanted for me. In my email I said that I had bad headache from dealing with her drama and was going to go home. She called my cell right away, but I did not answer. She emailed an hour or so later as I was on the subway home apologizing for things she had said and also said how she had nothing but respect for me and gratitude for all I had done for her. Although her email was very sweet on the surface, it actually made me mad so I wrote right back to her out of anger and told her that I had had enough and that we should leave each other alone. Later in the evening she wrote back that she would abide by what I had said and leave me alone. I have not responded and we were both NC today. So, NC day 1 RESET. Granted, things are still not as explicit as they need to be, but they are headed in that direction and they are more clear than before so I will maintain NC one day at time. . . .
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ADDENDUM
I awoke very angry this morning . . . . angry at her for many things, angry at myself for letting things get to this point. I was angry and tense for most of the day. Although today was quiet with regards to her, I am just tense waiting for the \"other shoe to drop.\"
My anger dropped in the afternoon and I even found myself missing her and wondering if she was ok after the fight with her husband but then I got anger again, this time at myself for thinking about her like that. Now as I write this, I am chilling at home. I am downstairs while the W and kids are upstairs watching TV and as far as OW well at this moment I can just say that I mean her no harm but that I am also not missing her at all :)