I blew it
Yeah I blew it. I got drunk yesterday and no it didn't help. Just made things more stressful. I even didn't have the good sense to say no to the guys when they wanted me to go out after work for a drink which turned into a bunch of drinks in a short period of time. I am writing this while still a bit messed up. It is not out of my system yet and I am so damned frustrated with myself for giving in to the desire to drink. I should have known better. I have been here before. The only thing this has done is make me numb and angry. Not sure how you can be both at the same time but I am. So now I guess the journey starts all over again. I have to find a sponsor that understands and will call me on my bullshit without fear. I guess I will just have to see what the next few days brings to make a decision about what to do next.
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