I binged
I'm trying hard to just let it go. I really want to self harm and my head is calling me all the names under the sun. Repeating what a failure I am and I don't deserve help. I know I've got to try and push these thoughts out of my head, there's nothing I can do. It's happened and it's another day tomorrow. I just keep getting waves of urges and thoughts of suicide, feeling like my family would be better off without me.I've got a thumping headache now. Seeing that other lady again today at the clinic/unit. Still no news of the hospital yet. I don't expect to hear anything till next week though so anything before that is a bonus. I just can't deal with all this waiting. My Mum knows I need help and I can tell it's getting to her too. It's only natural I know but I feel guilty, she feels guilty because she knows she left me. I'm upset, she's upset...it's all just such a mess. I'll be happier when I'm in the hospital for my Mum and Brother too. It's just as hard on them than it is me, they know there's nothing they can do at the moment except wait like me :( It's all just such a mess.
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