I am unsure what to call this.

 I am hating life right now. I am having an anxiety attack and in pain. I swear I am having either a heart attack or a stroke. I have been fighting with these feelings on and off for most of the winter and I am scared to go to sleep. I have not slept well in weeks. I just can't seem to find a dr. I am also scared to go to a new dr because of panic disorder,I am waiting or more like expecting them to tell me the worst news. I am scared all of the time. I am not the best person to be around. I am whiny and crying.
 I also have another woman whom attached herself to me, her hubby just dies about a month ago and she is always telling me about his heart attack, how my things are the same as his were the night of his heart attack. She seem to tell me that whenever she knows I am flipping out and trying to remain calm. I have tried to ignore her calls but then she just shows up and make her self comfy. She also likes to freak me out over a lot of things, like how she thinks I will die and such. I have asked her not to come over but I think she has mental issues.
 My family is handling me the best they know how. I am sure they are getting fed up. I wish I had some meds or some thing to help out. I am trying to take st.john wort and some vitamin b12. I have just started. This week is the last week I will be smoking also.
I wish there was some way I could just shake it off and start to feel better.
 OK vent over. I have at least wrote it out. I was hoping it would help me feel better but I was wrong.



I finally found a dr yay