I am trying to forget after 4 years by vader

I am trying to forget after 4 years and it is so hard.I have been crying every single day and I dont know what to do and I am so alone.Noone knows that pain I am going through.A great deal of people whom I have known since 1995 have moved and some just left seattle without a change of address.I feel so alone and I dont know what to do.My counscilor told me to make new friends.The question is how.How does a widow of 66 make new friends? I do not want to get involved with another person again.I have spend 12 years with Brad and some of the times were good and some were bad..but i can not forget him.He did a lot for me and him dying in my arms was the most traumatic thing in my life.I just can not get over it.I have tried and it is getting difficult for me every day and sometimes I wonder if he died in vain.I wonder and I will never forget him.He was the love of my life and now hes gone.What do I do now?