I am still the same.

Well, I have been going strong to the gym now for almost four weeks. I feel good about that accomplishment. Yet, I am so frustrated at my weight not moving. I am bouncing between 215 and 219.  Now logically this means I am eating more that I am burning.  I do see the diffenernce in the way clothing fits, but I WANT TO SEE THE SCALE GO DOWN.  I want to be in wonderland.  I guess to be truthful I am scared at the idea and excited as well.  I tried talking to the trainer at the gym over how much food intake versus weight loss and muscle gain. Of course he said to kick up calories to 2,000 per day and increase protein.  Of course this scares me because WLS surgery and health doctors all said expect to eat around 1200-1500 calories a day after you are healed from surgery.   I then realized I am special in regards to intake and sent a note to the dietician at the Health center who is familiar with me.  She told me to target calories at 1200 and about 75 grams of protein.  I trust her because she is also a Personal Trainer. So what does this mean, it means to track my food intake faithfully and see what happens.  Oh the food is killing me. I have no aversions and can eat just about anything.  These monkeys are killing me.  I need to continue with the mind set that they are poison if I want to consume something that is CRAP.  Isn't summertime good for that. All teh barbeques, easy salads, and my girls are now on a baking kick for a dessert each week.  I love the fact that they enjoy it,and I have a large household to eat it up.  DAMN, I want a piece too!  Ok, I feel sometimes I am getting obsessed with the scale and the thrill of weight loss. I also get scared of losing to much.  Overall I am happy at my size but now it is just a goal for pure thin thinking vanity.  I sthis shallow?