I AM SOOO EXHAUSTED, 24/7!!
FIRST OFF I WANT TO SAY THAT I NOW HAVE OVER 200 NAMES FOR MY PETITION!!! AND I AM STILL AT IT, I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF AND ALL THAT I HAVE ACHIEVED!! RIGHT NOW IT IS VERY QUIET , SO I ASSUME THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEAR FUTURE, FOR US ALL! I HAVE NOT BEEN FEELING VERY WELL AT ALL FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS!! I AM THROUGHLY EXHAUSTED AND WHEN I DO GET UP FOR THE DAY, I AM UP FOR JUST AN HOUR OR TWO AND HAVE TO GO BACK TO BED TO SLEEP!! AS, I FEEL COMPLETELY DRAINED AND CANNOT KEEP MY EYES OPEN!! IT ISN'T FROM OVER WORK RE: THE PETITIONS AS I HAVE THEM SITTING AT A STORE NEAR MY HOME. AND I CHECK THEM EVERY FEW DAYS. MY PAIN LEVEL FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS HAS IMPROVED TO A MORE MANAGEABLE LEVEL, YAY!! DUE TO AN I.V. I HAD OF LIDOCAINE AT MY DR.S OFFICE LAST THURSDAY, IT FINALLY WORKED FOR ME AT A LOWER DOSAGE, SO I PRAY THAT IT WILL LAST FOR A WHILE LONGER!! SO MY LEVEL OF PAIN WHICH WAS LIKE A 8-9/10 IS NOW FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS ABOUT A 4/10! I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT! IT WAS VERY WEIRD THOUGH AFTER I HAD BEEN ON THE I.V. FOR BASICALLY 2HRS. I HAD FELL ASLEEP, AND WOKE UP SOOOO STONED IT FELT LIKE!!! MY DR. AND HIS NURSE HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE REACT THIS WAY TO THE MEDICATION BEFORE SO HE WAS VERY CONCERNED FOR ME. I COULDN'T EVEN FOCUS AND I WAS SPINNING LIKE A TOP, SLURRING MY WORDS, AND I COULDN'T HOLD MY OWN HEAD UP STRAIGHT!! IT EITHER FELL TO THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT OR RIGHT DOWN TO MY CHIN!! I ALSO STARTED CRYING AS I FELT SOOO WEIRD!! THEY KEPT ME IN HIS OFFICE FOR OVER ANOTHER HOUR AND STAYED WELL INTO THE EVENING AND THEN TERRY MY HUSBAND CAME AND GOT ME, AND DROVE ME HOME. BUT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE UNTIL I WAS MORE ALERT. WHEN I GOT HOME I CRASHED IN MY BED FOR ANOTHER 2-3HRS!! WAKING UP AND FEELING GROGGY BUT WITHOUT MUCH PAIN AT ALL!! UNBELIEVABLE! SO, NOW WITH THE PAIN LEVEL MUCH LOWER I HAD WISHED THAT I COULD GET SOME OF MY HOUSE WORK DONE THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO DO WITH THE SEVERE PAIN AND TIREDNESS. BUT NO, I HAVE THIS SEVERE EXHAUSTION AND I GET SOOO EXHAUSTED IT IS EVEN TOO MUCH ENERGY TO EVEN TALK!! I AM SCARED!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?? LIKE IS MY CHRONIC FATIGUE THAT MUCH WORSE NOW?? THAT I CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION, DRIVE? OR DO ANYTHING IN MY HOME AND EVEN TO THINK CLEAR ENOUGH TO MAKE THE SIMPLIST DECISIONS??? I WANTED TO ASK ANY OF YOU IF YOU HAVE EVER FELT LIKE THIS?? AND FOR HOW LONG?? AND WHAT IT IS CAUSED BY?? I REALLY CAN'T SEE IT BEING JUST CHRONIC FATIGUE!!! I KNOW THAT I AM VERY DEPRESSED STILL OVER THE LOSS OF MY PRECIOUS LITTLE DOGGIE, AND ALSO DOWN BECAUSE MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER (CRYSTAL) IS STILL NOT TALKING TO ME, AND NOT LETTING US SEE OUR GRANDCHILDREN, STILL!!!! IT HURTS SOOO VERY MUCH!! THE OTHER THING THIS COMPLETE LOSS OF ENERGY HAS BEEN DOING TO ME IS NOT LETTING ME DO ANY CHORES I NEED TO DO!! I CAN'T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO EVEN MAKE SUPPER FOR MY DEAR HUSBAND AFTER HE HAS WORKED A VERY LONG DAY!! I CARRY SOOO MUCH GUILT FOR THIS AND OTHER THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE THAT I CANNOT FULFILL, AS A LOVING WIFE FOR MY PRECIOUS HUSBAND!! AND I AM FINDING IT VERY, DIFFICULT TO EVEN GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EVEN FOR APPTS. AS I DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO EVEN GET DRESSED AND GET MYSELF READY!! IT IS AN ABSOLUTE STRUGGLE TO EVEN HAVE A BATH AND BRUSH MY TEETH EVERYDAY!! I AM GETTING MUCH MORE DEPRESSED OVER ALL OF THIS, THIS IS NOT ME!! IT IS SCARING ME SOOO VERY MUCH!! I FEEL LIKE I AM DYING AND I AM OUT OF CONTROL! IT IS CONTROLLING ME!! I BEG ANYONE THAT READS THIS JOURNAL TO PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THEY HAVE EVER GONE THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THIS, OR IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH ME?? I AM GOING TO BE GOING TO A DR. APPT. NEAR THE END OF THE MONTH SO I HOPE IF IT ISN'T GONE BY THEN I WILL BE ABLE TO MAYBE FIND SOME REASON FOR THIS GUILT RIDDEN EXHAUSTION!!!! I FEEL LIKE SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND JUST CRYING MY EYES OUT OVER THIS, PLEASE, PLEASE ANYONE PUT A COMMENT IN AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK?? THANKYOU VERY MUCH I AM DESPERATE AND VERY SCARED THAT I AM DYING!!! THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND! BYE FOR NOW LOVE SUE XXXXOOO
Replies