I am so lost!

What will it mean for a Pakistani to dream of being in a railway compartment with American soldiers? The train passing by a lake! A rock in that lake! Hearing a voice say, 'hey, birds do not fly over this lake'! Then getting air borne and seeing beneath as if about to jump out like a paratrooper! Seeing a C-130 military transport plane being flown by black pilots and then being very happy while counting crocodiles????????? The dream remained a big question mark for a few days some 6 years back till one day I spotted a lake on the map of Florida that has a railway track leading from Miami till Cape Canaveral. A year ago I saw the National Geographic/Discovery channel fame late Mr. Steve Irwin hosting around Eglin Air Force Base in Florida and flying the same scene over alligators in Florida. I had written to an acquaintance of our father in University of Florida back then when I had the dream. Was it just a dream or will I ever be a part of US forces one day? Why did I have that online fling with that American girl whom I also dreamed about with 50% accuracy about the color of her car, the where abouts of her residence and also the interior. May God guide me! Why does not my family take interest about my marital affairs as is the case with every Pakistani man? What should Pakistan mean for me? Should I really be faithful to the country where I was born even if I am uncomfortable here? What did I really want to do in my life? Should I really be what I am presently in my life? I am so lost!