I am so frustrated today
I am the only one working in my household, yes they help me with food and rent and keep the house clean, and watch my children, but it just gets frustrating having to be the only one working.
I am trying to get my SO to get employment, we have job openings here at the casino and he is balking at the whole thing, I just don't understand what the big deal is. It's a job, and it will help us out with finances and I my 4 children.
I am trying to be understanding about our finances being the way it is, and also he is a big time smoker, which he doesn't want to quit, and says he will quit, but then turns around and smokes more when he says he is going to quit.
I am so frustrated because he has all these habits, and I have my own habits to pay for, which are legal, I love to gamble, which I limit by only spending a certain amount out of each check, but this last payday, I spent $60 on his habit, and $20 on mine, now usually I spend about $80 on this total every payday, and I understand I could use it for other things, but its my choice of entertainment, some people drink, I gamble.
I pay my bills, and get what my children need, and what he needs, and what others in my home need and then I want to enjoy what I earn and spend what I have on something I enjoy, but I can barely afford to take care of all these people when I only get paid, 9/hr. I also have benefits from my job, but it tightens my belt also.
I just wish my SO would think about a job, any job, I don't care if he cleans toilets out for a living, I just wish he would get a job.
He called me earlier to tell me that he has no gas in the truck and can't make it down here to fill out his application, and they are giving out interviews right now, and he not even thinking of a way to get down here. I am so frustrated at him for not even trying.
I may just be getting overworked about the whole thing, but its stressing me out that I have the only paycheck out of 4 adults living in the house hold. I just hope that he will try harder to find work.
I am so tired of struggling all the time, and being stressed out all the time, from bills, and stuff.
I know he is used to a better life style than what he has with me, because his ex made way more at her work than I do, I have never made much money in my life, always min paying jobs. I wish i could afford a better life for me and my family.
I am so passive it's not even funny, I try to get my family to see that i am struggling and it's not easy for me to stand up for myself and mine, I sometimes feel used and naturally I feel abused, but I can't get myself out of the rut of letting people run all over me. When I try to stand up for myself and my own needs I feel like I am being selfish and egotistic, but when I do they get mad at me and I don't want to make anyone mad at me.
I let my sister and her man use my car while I am at work, they in turn help me run my children around while I am at work, My SO has a hard time seeing so I help him out with his paperwork, such as filling out apps and things like that, but sometimes when I ask them to help each other out they get all mad because each one of them is a grown adult and should be able to help themselves. I should see this but I can't get past the part of I need to take care of me and my children first, and I rely on each one of them because they are not working and it's easier than me running like a chicken with my head cut off.
I rely on them to run errands, like if I need meds picked up from pharmacy, or papers dropped off at the state deptartment, or groceries, the list goes on. But when I ask them to help each other, my SO help my sister, or vice versa, they get frustrated at me for even asking such a thing.
Like I said I am a true co dependant, I don't think I will ever be able to get out of that rut, I think I will always be that and I don't know how to change it except be alone and that is what I am afraid of. Being alone.
My sister has an alcohol problem, she has to be in a sober environment to be sober, or she drinks, I know not my problem, but I am here and my home is alcohol free, so I let her and her mate stay with me. My SO he is with me, I asked him to get a job, look for a job, he told me he would look for work so I could stay home and watch the home, but he just kept waiting for the golden opportunity, and I couldn't wait any longer so I put in apps for different jobs and I got employment and now am working full time, and I enjoy my job.
It's just my freaking bills and having to support everyone on my little tiny income.
I am trying to get my SO to get employment, we have job openings here at the casino and he is balking at the whole thing, I just don't understand what the big deal is. It's a job, and it will help us out with finances and I my 4 children.
I am trying to be understanding about our finances being the way it is, and also he is a big time smoker, which he doesn't want to quit, and says he will quit, but then turns around and smokes more when he says he is going to quit.
I am so frustrated because he has all these habits, and I have my own habits to pay for, which are legal, I love to gamble, which I limit by only spending a certain amount out of each check, but this last payday, I spent $60 on his habit, and $20 on mine, now usually I spend about $80 on this total every payday, and I understand I could use it for other things, but its my choice of entertainment, some people drink, I gamble.
I pay my bills, and get what my children need, and what he needs, and what others in my home need and then I want to enjoy what I earn and spend what I have on something I enjoy, but I can barely afford to take care of all these people when I only get paid, 9/hr. I also have benefits from my job, but it tightens my belt also.
I just wish my SO would think about a job, any job, I don't care if he cleans toilets out for a living, I just wish he would get a job.
He called me earlier to tell me that he has no gas in the truck and can't make it down here to fill out his application, and they are giving out interviews right now, and he not even thinking of a way to get down here. I am so frustrated at him for not even trying.
I may just be getting overworked about the whole thing, but its stressing me out that I have the only paycheck out of 4 adults living in the house hold. I just hope that he will try harder to find work.
I am so tired of struggling all the time, and being stressed out all the time, from bills, and stuff.
I know he is used to a better life style than what he has with me, because his ex made way more at her work than I do, I have never made much money in my life, always min paying jobs. I wish i could afford a better life for me and my family.
I am so passive it's not even funny, I try to get my family to see that i am struggling and it's not easy for me to stand up for myself and mine, I sometimes feel used and naturally I feel abused, but I can't get myself out of the rut of letting people run all over me. When I try to stand up for myself and my own needs I feel like I am being selfish and egotistic, but when I do they get mad at me and I don't want to make anyone mad at me.
I let my sister and her man use my car while I am at work, they in turn help me run my children around while I am at work, My SO has a hard time seeing so I help him out with his paperwork, such as filling out apps and things like that, but sometimes when I ask them to help each other out they get all mad because each one of them is a grown adult and should be able to help themselves. I should see this but I can't get past the part of I need to take care of me and my children first, and I rely on each one of them because they are not working and it's easier than me running like a chicken with my head cut off.
I rely on them to run errands, like if I need meds picked up from pharmacy, or papers dropped off at the state deptartment, or groceries, the list goes on. But when I ask them to help each other, my SO help my sister, or vice versa, they get frustrated at me for even asking such a thing.
Like I said I am a true co dependant, I don't think I will ever be able to get out of that rut, I think I will always be that and I don't know how to change it except be alone and that is what I am afraid of. Being alone.
My sister has an alcohol problem, she has to be in a sober environment to be sober, or she drinks, I know not my problem, but I am here and my home is alcohol free, so I let her and her mate stay with me. My SO he is with me, I asked him to get a job, look for a job, he told me he would look for work so I could stay home and watch the home, but he just kept waiting for the golden opportunity, and I couldn't wait any longer so I put in apps for different jobs and I got employment and now am working full time, and I enjoy my job.
It's just my freaking bills and having to support everyone on my little tiny income.
Replies
It is completely understandable for you to feel this way. It was like this with my ex as well. I went to school, cleaned the house, looked for jobs for him, and filled out his unemployment every week. I would constantly try to get him to look for a job and he never would. And then when I would have to keep reminding him, he would get mad. This is not the way it should be. You should not be the one carrying the household all by yourself. It is such an exhausting thing to do.
Yeah and to those that don\'t work think that giving you a few dollars here and there is helpful, it\'s ok, but it\'s not the point, they need to frickin grow up and get employment or go find a way to support themselves. I should only have to worry about childcare and my children and my household bills, and not have to worry about supporting there broke butts.
When we first got together he was working, but lost his job due to tardiness and got caught drinking and smoking on the job. Plus his ex kept showing up and making scenes and physically fighting with him. She one of those crazy women likes to fight like a man. So all that put together he end up losing his job. He just gave up and said he deserved a break because he worked all his life. I understood, and let it be, but its been over a year now and still no job, kind of getting irritating right now.