I am so excited!!

My poor DH...with ALL he has on his shoulders...has said that we can actually TTC...even saying that it is ok for me to use an OPK (which my doc wants us to do for Progesterone & Aspirin timing, too).  This is a HUGE HUGE HUGE breakthrough!!
He has also said that I need to be completely aware that, if I get pregnant, he will be thrilled...AND TERRIFIED...because he does not have a job...and does not have any prospects right now.  He is feeling devastated about so many things right now.  But, he does not want to hurt our chances of having a healthy pregnancy by delaying conception.  My doctor also is having me do a workup for Coronary Artery Disease, because several of my labs indicate that...and an EKG shows another sign of it...so we have to HURRY.  Age, Lupus, Coronary Artery Disease...all mean we have to get moving!
In the meantime, I keep having horrible nightmares that essentially leave me to believe we won't have another baby.  I hope that is just the enemy.  We normally play the audio Bible on our Ipod at night, but as soon as it shuts off, I have terrible dreams...that's kinda creepy.  lol  We're gonna have to leave it on ALL night. 
Anyway...the bottom line is that my DH...who is under more pressure than most people can begin to imagine, is ready to jump into TTC!  I hope he stays serious about it as I get close to ovulating...lol  But he SOUNDS serious today!   :-)
I think this is the first time I have felt "good" or hopeful since we lost Matthew.  I am almost giddy at this green light from him.  I am going to consider this progress toward getting pregnant!!  Updating my goal slider right now!!!  LOL
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

wow! that\'s a huge step. I\'m glad you two are on the same page. That\'s a huge step!!! I listen to Christian radio all nights some times and it helps with the dreams. I\'ll be praying against the enemy\'s attack!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so happy for you. That is great. Sounds like your DH has finally broken through his wall of mourning and is able to rejoin the world again. Hoping an dpraying he finds something soon to ease some of the stress on your both. How is Sophia doing? XO :)