I am Sad, Sad I am
I haven't been on here in over a month. I've been so down. I miss him so much. I want to focus on myself, but I just miss him. He was so awful to me. I wanted to get away so bad. I don't understand myself.
He is deteriorating more & more. I hear it from friends. He occasionally sends me a deluge of drunken, abusive texts about what a horrible person I am & how happy he is that I am gone. Right
I can't help him. I can't seem to let go. I don't see him, or text him or call him. I responded to his abusive texts the other night with "I care about you more than you will ever know. I don't see you or talk to you, because of the way you treat me." He sent more random shit about how glad he was that I was gone.
He actually trashed me on facebook, so I had to delete him and block him. I've spent a lot time this last week defending him to others that saw what he posted. I say he isn't like that. I can't understand why he did that. yada, yada, yada. My best friend said "He is like that. At least right now, he is like that."
Let me go please. Get well please.
He is deteriorating more & more. I hear it from friends. He occasionally sends me a deluge of drunken, abusive texts about what a horrible person I am & how happy he is that I am gone. Right
I can't help him. I can't seem to let go. I don't see him, or text him or call him. I responded to his abusive texts the other night with "I care about you more than you will ever know. I don't see you or talk to you, because of the way you treat me." He sent more random shit about how glad he was that I was gone.
He actually trashed me on facebook, so I had to delete him and block him. I've spent a lot time this last week defending him to others that saw what he posted. I say he isn't like that. I can't understand why he did that. yada, yada, yada. My best friend said "He is like that. At least right now, he is like that."
Let me go please. Get well please.
Replies
Hi there, I\'m sorry you\'re struggling. Be patient with yourself, my ex left me over a year ago and then divorced me. Just when I think I\'m doing great, down I go. It\'s hard, the hardest thing we will ever do, to LET GO. I\'m with you on that, I don\'t know how to do that. I too defend my ex and for some reason we think it\'s ok how they treated us. It isn\'t and our heads know that but trying to get our hearts and our head on the same page is a battle.
I haven\'t been on here much either but know that you\'re all here for me when I need you....no judgment and we are here for you.
I\'ve had to set little goals for myself so I won\'t reach out to him. My next date is June 1st, then when that date rolls around, I\'ll set another one. It\'s such a simple thing yet it really helps me when I feel the urge to go see him or to call him, I tell myself remember June 1st and it stops me.
I can\'t help thinking about him, some days more than others. My friend who happens to be a counselor wishes that my ex would find someone, ouch....the reason being is so that I can move on. For some reason you and I still feel the need to help them. My ex isn\'t abusive like yours, it\'s easy for us being outside your little world to wonder why on earth you still care for him, but I get it, I truly do. I don\'t have any answers for you since I struggle to. They say time will heal, so lets you and I believe that, hold on to that and fight for ourselves.
Hugs to you, keep coming here, even just to journal. I think it will help us both.