I AM NOT INTO CHRISTMAS At All THIS YEAR...
Last year was the first best christmas Erica and I had since Ryan has been gone. Wow, I can't believe 5 of them have come and gone.
Last week my dad had a heart attack and had to have an emergency operation. 22 yrs ago he had a heart by pass and had used up his main artery from his leg with a few others veins from his legs. All arteries to his heart were blocked. The Docter said he has Serious heart disease. Right away he had to have 2 stints put in, which wouldn't last long enough. It only kept him alive and time to get a team of Doctors together to figure out how in when to do another by pass. Anyway the Doctor who gave dad his by pass was on Monday, 2 day's ago..I've been in a dither ever since, feeling numb to it all. My dad is doing well..He just feels weak, he's 76 yrs young. lol...My mom and I usually cook, she canseled christmas dinner..I'll still cook for us here at home, Erica will be flying home christmas Eve....Oh, well we will manage. I alway's said after Ryan died, I would beable to handle anything that comes my way...Ryan, my son was my first and only person who left this earth, which I believe now, he is over looking after his family members through whats to come our way....Ryan loved and was so proud of his family, I know he was the one God picked to do that job.... I'm sorry if I've been speechless through these darn Holiday's.. They will never be the same.. Christmas will come and go.. Another year closer to Ryan..The longer Ryan is gone the closer I am to him, YES YES YES!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL! kelly
Last week my dad had a heart attack and had to have an emergency operation. 22 yrs ago he had a heart by pass and had used up his main artery from his leg with a few others veins from his legs. All arteries to his heart were blocked. The Docter said he has Serious heart disease. Right away he had to have 2 stints put in, which wouldn't last long enough. It only kept him alive and time to get a team of Doctors together to figure out how in when to do another by pass. Anyway the Doctor who gave dad his by pass was on Monday, 2 day's ago..I've been in a dither ever since, feeling numb to it all. My dad is doing well..He just feels weak, he's 76 yrs young. lol...My mom and I usually cook, she canseled christmas dinner..I'll still cook for us here at home, Erica will be flying home christmas Eve....Oh, well we will manage. I alway's said after Ryan died, I would beable to handle anything that comes my way...Ryan, my son was my first and only person who left this earth, which I believe now, he is over looking after his family members through whats to come our way....Ryan loved and was so proud of his family, I know he was the one God picked to do that job.... I'm sorry if I've been speechless through these darn Holiday's.. They will never be the same.. Christmas will come and go.. Another year closer to Ryan..The longer Ryan is gone the closer I am to him, YES YES YES!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL! kelly
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