I am killing myself with food
Yes it really is that bad. And I don't mean to sound like a drama queen but the truth is I dont' know how much time I have left. I weigh almost 300 pounds and every day I eat until I am sick. I feel terrible about my eating and yet I keep doing it. I have tried praying which does not help and in fact in some ways makes it worse! I don't know why it has to get worse for me when I pray but it often does.
Today I tried to knock some sense in to myself by looking for information about the overdose and death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, the actor. I thought maybe if I could see sad pictures of his three kids I would come to my senses about my eating. If only it was that simple!
My biggest fear is for Josh. He should not have to lose me to my addiction. It's not fair to him and I know that he would be devastated beyond belief if I died. How can I do this to him!?!?!?!
God help me!!!!
Today I tried to knock some sense in to myself by looking for information about the overdose and death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, the actor. I thought maybe if I could see sad pictures of his three kids I would come to my senses about my eating. If only it was that simple!
My biggest fear is for Josh. He should not have to lose me to my addiction. It's not fair to him and I know that he would be devastated beyond belief if I died. How can I do this to him!?!?!?!
God help me!!!!
Replies
http://www.oa.org/
I hope this link will help you.
I\'ll pray for your health.
A doctor might help.
I Love you Heidi, you are a wonderful lady and deserve to be well. Things are not hopeless, your addiction is making you think it is hopeless. I have put a response on the oa site, it may help you define a HP that will work for now. Can your doctor help? I think my eating goes hand in hand with my depression. I eat , I feel shame and depressed so I eat to try to numb the shame. It doesn\'t make sense to most but to another compulsive over eater it makes perfect sense. Don\'t give up. Get as much help as you can and carry on being brave, you\'ve achieved so much already. Let others love you until you can learn to love yourself xxxx her for you xxx
Heidi, so wish I could give you an answer that would help you instantly to feel better about yourself and do better with your food but I can\'t do that, you have to do that yourself by searching and trying out different things. There are many diets to lose weight by, different forms of exercise to use, different foods - you have to find what suits you. If nothing has worked so far it doesn\'t mean that you are a hopeless case it just mean you haven\'t found the right diet or lifestyle that will help you lose weight. Recently my hubby embarked on a \"new\" diet and kept on at me to join him by telling me I was eating wrong - I tried it for three days, got chronic constipation and have realised I have to do the diet that suits me and not him - get so annoyed with myself when I do this. I don\'t binge anymore due to OA but I still eat more than I should and that is what Im trying to get to grips with now. So im ignoring hubby\'s lecturing that his diet is the best and mine will never work and plodding on (yes Im a plodder and proud of it - im slow but will get there one day). Love and hugs to you my lovely friend, you are so special! xxx