I am dating again and would like advice
I honestly didn't think I could love again but when I saw that I could I may of destroyed any chance of a future with her. Things went way to fast and I felt things way before I should. It's been 10 years almost 11 sense I have dated. I forgot that things take time to blossom. I forgot how to be a gentleman. She put a hold on things and told me that she couldn't handle the pace that our relationship was going. The last time I was around her she was so uncomfortable that she didn't even want to hold my hand. That was a drastic step back from where we were. I wont go in to detail but we did everything a couple usually does and now we are here. Here is where we should have started to begin with but like I said we went way to fast in the beginning. Did I screw this up when I found out that I could love again. She wants us to start completely over and just forget what has happened. I cant forget though. I don't want to be with anyone else and I would love a second chance but I don't know if it is worth trying because I didn't feel that connection we had at first. She says she still loves me and that there is something between us or she would have been gone a long time ago. She said that she doesn't love me near as much as I love her but she doesn't know exactly how she feels. I am already heart broken over this. I was just wondering if its possible for her to have feelings for me again or did my overbearing her prevent any thing from ever happening. I just know that I care deeply for her and I want things to work out. Posted on 02/17/14, 12:12 am
Replies
In my opinion, you should have taken it very slow. Instead of ending up speeding though what you two have. Maybe try to start off as friends and take every thing slow and be truthful and honest with her. When you both feel comfortable in the relationship move forward just a little bit. Remember, you have a long life a head of you.
The fact she is still talking to you shows there is hope:) Sounds like you have a second chance to build a relationship with her. Slow and steady wins the race:) Good luck!
I agree with jmartin. I have entered the dating world too and it is different. I find myself wanting what I had and having to reign myself in so I don\'t overwhelm him or I. You can\'t have your wife back. That is the past.
One thing I have found myself doing is considering the friendship most important. Taking care of the friendship first and keeping that intact.
I am beginning to sniff around the prospect of a relationship, but slowly. Women tend to move more slowly than men. It gives them comfort.
I\'m glad you have found someone. Be patient and give her room to think. Be happy that she is still around, you have something there dude.
its easy to get ahead of yourself because we are used to being married. She is willing to try and give it a second chance. There is no harm in trying slowly. It takes time to really understand and relearn how to date.
Hey sweetie. I commented to the post in Depression group which I see is the same as this journal.
Big hugs~
me
How would you like her to feel? Different types of flowers need different types of care to make them blossom. Take the time to Find out how to make her blossom is all the advice I can give because only she knows how she needs to be cared for in order for her to have specific feelings for you.
Best of luck with what ever you decide to do! I am very proud of you that you are even attempting to have a relationship... Remember if it was meant to be it will be.