I am addicted to lying

I was watching the show Feel Good with my girlfriend and through watching that, a lot of realization happened and I became very overwhelmed. The first realization is that I think I am addicted to lying? And I don't mean that because I want to have a problem (yes I have to say that because in the past I use to tell people I have problems I don't have to... feel sorry for myself I guess?) but I really do think I am addicted to lying. 

It sounds crazy, but when you define addiction, it's a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence and the second definition is a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence. 

Why do I feel the need to lie constantly, no idea? It's rather scary when I think about it. It used to be to seem cool or to fit in, but now I seem to do it... to have something to say? I don't think I ever realized [fully] the harm that it truly has on people I care about until recently. I mean in 2019, I lost a good friendship over it and it made a lot of people lose trust in me. And that sucked, primarily because I want people to like me all the time. But I think it also sucked because I saw first hand the harm is caused. I should have realized that in 2015 when my advisor called me out on lying in front of a large group and I physically felt myself feel mad, guilty, then sad within the span of 30 minutes. But we worked on it and seemed to grow from there...

I think my advisor knew from that moment, that I was going to be lying consistently for the remained of my time in the program, but we never spoke of it again -- and we should of. That's the thing that's different here. My girlfriend does keep bringing it up. She called me out in November and has been trying to help me every since. She's asked me to come clean to her whenever I remember I lie and I tell her I will but then I don't.

Why? Why don't I?

Do I not realize that it is happening? It hurts her that she's asked numerous times “have you been lying to me?” and every time I act like I don’t know what she's talking about and say I haven’t lied to her in a long time. That right there is a lie in itself but I guess I don't recognize my lies anymore to tell her what they are. I am tired of hurting people in my life for an unexplainable reason. And I am tired of trying to be something I am not.

If I am boring nobody, then let me be that.