I am a mess
I am sorry I haven't been on here for so long. I think about you all often and pray for you. I am greiving the loss of my brother. He died in surgery in October. Covid destroyed his heart. The surgeon went in and tried to do damage control until they could get a heart for him but he died on the table. There is something I haven't shared here but it will reveal why I am greiving so. Since I was 6 years old I would have dreams showing me how my loved one's would die. This always happens within a week or two before their death. It is a torture I wouldn't wish on anyone. I see in great detail what is going to happen. I tried to tell my parents when I was 10 and my grandma who lived with us died. I was told it was just a bad dream and to go back to bed. A week later we got a call that a cousin of mine shot himself in the head and we went there to his funeral. I cried and screamed for my parents not to let grandma go into the funeral home because that was where she was going to die. About an hour later she was standing at my cousins casket and hit the floor dead. I have had many of these dreams and no one would listen to me. I lost my first born and dreamt it just weeks before. My husband told me never to speak of those dreams again because they were from the devil. There have been many others I have lost that way. I am starting counseling because I can't handle seeing and not being able to do anything about it. My partner believes me because i have told her before they pass about the dream I had before it happens. I am a wreck. I cry all the time and I can't think straight to function. My fibro is through the roof and the stress is causing chest pain. I always feel so guilty because I can't stop what is going to happen. Anyways I have nowhere else to go with all this and am wondering if any of you understand what I am going through. I have never met anyone like me. I will try to check back soon if not tomorrow I will by thursday. I feel like my life is a torture and don't understand why I have to be a seer.
I read the posts and want wonder to know I don't judge anyone for anything. I hope you will stay with the group. We all have a right to our opinions. I am so sorry you are seeing the worst of what the shots can cause. For many they are a lifeline but some suffer for the choice. Hugs
Replies
Autumn - I am so sorry to learn that your brother passed. On top of an already difficult struggle with health, I'm sure that you feel completely overwhelmed. I am glad to learn that you are starting counselling. Having that support should help you.
I know when someone is going to pass as well. I don't have dreams. I just sense their spirit going by me/through the room. It's difficult to explain. Been like this since I was a kid. Even people/relatives that I know who live hundreds of miles away. I may not know that it is a specific person but I do sense that someone has left my circle.
I hope that counselling will help lower your stress levels and in turn some of the symptoms brought on by too much stress. Sending support and a hug.
Fantod thanks so much for sending me this message. I was about 10 when this started with the dreams. They are so vivid that I can describe the room, the smells, the people involved. I have no family members that I can tell that I knew Dave was going to pass. They would disown me. So I feel like I am lying to them by not telling them. When Dave passed during surgery my sister and his son were there and my sister had a major breakdown. I feel guilty because I didn't prepare her. I tried to say that things don't always go as planned and she should be prepared but couldn't say any more. I so appreciate that you were willing to share what you go through. It is more common than people believe. Thanks again.