I always thought my father was the abusive one but...

As I've gotten older, I've realized that my mother is mentally abusive and has been so throughout my life. This is something I have especially realized most recently.

Yes, my father was still physically abusive, and he is held accountable for that. However, my mother's emotional abuse hurt me worse and she has yet to be held accountable.

Her abuse towards me, though it didn't leave physical marks, it left mental/emotional scars. Scars that I didn't realize existed until my adulthood.

At least my father spent time with me and made an active, meaningful effort to change himself.

My mother, from what I can remember, never spent actual time with me. The time I remember spending with her, she either used me for her own benefit or made me feel like a burden.

She never actually admits her faults. If she acknowledges her faults, she justifies them. She's a hypocrite? She's being irrational? She's misdirecting anger? Too bad. You have no right to be angry or stand up for yourself unless you pay bills. Basic human respect costs money. If you don't want to be abused, you have to pay up. That's her mentality.