I almost sent an email to my ex-fiance this morning

I went to mapquest and entered the address of the nearest landfill in proximity to where my ex-fiance lives.  Where I used to live as well.  On several early mornings this January I could smell the landfill as I walked out of the front door. 
I couldn't continue to live that way.  My mother would never have approved of those living conditions.  I gave it my best effort for over a year.
Things ended badly with the addition of alcohol.
I resisted emailing my ex-fiance the mapquest directions from his house to the landfill this morning.  I emailed it to myself instead.  I did not give in to the temptation. 
I've made a real ass of myself lately and I can't keep behaving so badly.  I need to concentrate on myself and doing positive things for myself.  That relationship is over.  I can't keep beating it to death.  It is already dead.