I almost lost it yesterday
My mother refused to get out of bed yesterday morning. She told me that she forgot how to get out of bed. It was about 11:30 before I convinced her to try, and it took quite a while to convince her to do it.
After she got up, we went through the procedure of getting her cleaned up, into the bathroom, changed into new nightgown, and into the wheelchair. It was almost 1:00 pm.
My brother came over shortly after that, and I had to go get the girl at school and bring her to her appointment, across town, so I had to get ready to leave. I did 3 loads of laundry yesterday, and didn't have time and energy to put it all away, so it is all downstairs on the folding table waiting for me.
When I picked the girl up, her friend was with her, and decided to come along. It was the girl's birthday yesterday, and she wanted her friend to tag along. I went into the school to find the girl and the school police office told me that the girl had something to tell me - that wasn't lovely - so I asked her before we got into the car, and it turns out that this boy assaulted her and coerced her into giving him a picture of her in her underwear.
Then we go to her therapy, and afterwards go to the girl's mother's house, and when we passed by the police station right near there, the girl's friend is screaming obsenities out the window of the car - I ordered her to knock it off, then while we were at the house, I asked her to never do that in my car again.
We finally get back into the car again - by now I have a huge headache - and try to get the girl to decide where we are going to pick up the dinner I promised her for her birthday and she finally decides on Panera Bread. We go and order 4 sandwiches and a salad, then travel 1/2 hour to get home to my mother, brother, and the two girls and I can have the "birthday dinner", only to find that they did not put one of the sandwiches in the bag, and it was the one my mother had ordered. I called them and they claimed that they would credit me the $8 that they charge per sandwich, but by the time that I finished the phone call, I did not have time to eat before the visiting nurse arrived.
The only thing, other than coffee, that I had had time to have all day was a burnt english muffin. I was starving. The visiting nurse kept me jumping up to get this or that or show her stuff or bring her the medication or what not. My back was killing me and I was exhausted. I had had all the medication organized on the counter and kind of understood what I was doing, yet when she left, I had to reorganize it all over again.
Add to that my mother insisting on rearranging things - she went through my desk and her desk (the application for aid and assistance which I spent ages completing was gone when I opened her desk and I nearly freaked out until I found it) and she touched all the things on my desk and looked through them. She moved the waste baskets and told me to move the medication and instructions from the counter to the table after I had once again organized them. Then she informed me that she wanted me to move all the furniture in her room - again - because she didn't like it that way.
She wants me to go through her jewelry with her. Sit there and sort through that trash - I have seen this jewelry, and none of it is worth anything - it is all costume jewelry, and most of it is broken. None of it is particularily special or pretty. She never wore any of it.
I am going through a foreclosure. I have to bring my girl to therapy every week. I have to find her a psychiatrist (to get her off that medication and on something that will not make her hair fall out), dentist, vision (replace her glasses that she lost), My car needs service. Winter is setting in, so I ache terribly. I'm going to have to shovel snow soon. I have no doctor or therapist, and the psychiatrist I have found sent chills down my spine. I am getting harrassing phone calls and fedex's on a regular basis regarding the house, and I don't know if they are going to do the "deed in lieu" or put me through the full foreclosure, which is going to take years to complete.
And after everyone left, and it was just the three of us last night, I finally sat down to try to rest my back, and my mother decided she had to go to the bathroom again, and I couldn't sit, again. I was so tired I couldn't stand it, but I did it.
Afterwards, she came in and sat in the recliner for a while, then she abruptly decided that she wanted to go to bed early. I got her to bed, and finally got to lay down.
I don't think I can handle this. My life is complicated enough without my mother adding things to it and she does. She claimed that she wanted the house to be mine, but here she is rearranging things from her wheelchair. I put something in a convenient place and she moves it to an inconvenient place because it "looks better" to her there, then I have to hunt for it. One of the biggest things I like about living alone is having things remain where you put them, and she cannot leave anything where I left it. I have enough to do without hunting for little things, like the trash barrel.
The girl and I have no place to live if we don't live here. It would take a couple of months to gather up enough money to get into a place, even if a place could be found. It would also take a couple of months at home for my mother to qualify for time in a nursing home again, paid by insurance, so I'm stuck with her for as long as I can manage it.
After she got up, we went through the procedure of getting her cleaned up, into the bathroom, changed into new nightgown, and into the wheelchair. It was almost 1:00 pm.
My brother came over shortly after that, and I had to go get the girl at school and bring her to her appointment, across town, so I had to get ready to leave. I did 3 loads of laundry yesterday, and didn't have time and energy to put it all away, so it is all downstairs on the folding table waiting for me.
When I picked the girl up, her friend was with her, and decided to come along. It was the girl's birthday yesterday, and she wanted her friend to tag along. I went into the school to find the girl and the school police office told me that the girl had something to tell me - that wasn't lovely - so I asked her before we got into the car, and it turns out that this boy assaulted her and coerced her into giving him a picture of her in her underwear.
Then we go to her therapy, and afterwards go to the girl's mother's house, and when we passed by the police station right near there, the girl's friend is screaming obsenities out the window of the car - I ordered her to knock it off, then while we were at the house, I asked her to never do that in my car again.
We finally get back into the car again - by now I have a huge headache - and try to get the girl to decide where we are going to pick up the dinner I promised her for her birthday and she finally decides on Panera Bread. We go and order 4 sandwiches and a salad, then travel 1/2 hour to get home to my mother, brother, and the two girls and I can have the "birthday dinner", only to find that they did not put one of the sandwiches in the bag, and it was the one my mother had ordered. I called them and they claimed that they would credit me the $8 that they charge per sandwich, but by the time that I finished the phone call, I did not have time to eat before the visiting nurse arrived.
The only thing, other than coffee, that I had had time to have all day was a burnt english muffin. I was starving. The visiting nurse kept me jumping up to get this or that or show her stuff or bring her the medication or what not. My back was killing me and I was exhausted. I had had all the medication organized on the counter and kind of understood what I was doing, yet when she left, I had to reorganize it all over again.
Add to that my mother insisting on rearranging things - she went through my desk and her desk (the application for aid and assistance which I spent ages completing was gone when I opened her desk and I nearly freaked out until I found it) and she touched all the things on my desk and looked through them. She moved the waste baskets and told me to move the medication and instructions from the counter to the table after I had once again organized them. Then she informed me that she wanted me to move all the furniture in her room - again - because she didn't like it that way.
She wants me to go through her jewelry with her. Sit there and sort through that trash - I have seen this jewelry, and none of it is worth anything - it is all costume jewelry, and most of it is broken. None of it is particularily special or pretty. She never wore any of it.
I am going through a foreclosure. I have to bring my girl to therapy every week. I have to find her a psychiatrist (to get her off that medication and on something that will not make her hair fall out), dentist, vision (replace her glasses that she lost), My car needs service. Winter is setting in, so I ache terribly. I'm going to have to shovel snow soon. I have no doctor or therapist, and the psychiatrist I have found sent chills down my spine. I am getting harrassing phone calls and fedex's on a regular basis regarding the house, and I don't know if they are going to do the "deed in lieu" or put me through the full foreclosure, which is going to take years to complete.
And after everyone left, and it was just the three of us last night, I finally sat down to try to rest my back, and my mother decided she had to go to the bathroom again, and I couldn't sit, again. I was so tired I couldn't stand it, but I did it.
Afterwards, she came in and sat in the recliner for a while, then she abruptly decided that she wanted to go to bed early. I got her to bed, and finally got to lay down.
I don't think I can handle this. My life is complicated enough without my mother adding things to it and she does. She claimed that she wanted the house to be mine, but here she is rearranging things from her wheelchair. I put something in a convenient place and she moves it to an inconvenient place because it "looks better" to her there, then I have to hunt for it. One of the biggest things I like about living alone is having things remain where you put them, and she cannot leave anything where I left it. I have enough to do without hunting for little things, like the trash barrel.
The girl and I have no place to live if we don't live here. It would take a couple of months to gather up enough money to get into a place, even if a place could be found. It would also take a couple of months at home for my mother to qualify for time in a nursing home again, paid by insurance, so I'm stuck with her for as long as I can manage it.
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