Hysteroscopy Scheduled - BLAH
I saw the RE today and my hysteroscopy is scheduled for Thursday - we have to be there at 7am. Ouch, that's early! I also found out that it's a bit more invasive than I thought, and they consider this surgery as opposed to a procedure (I know, it doesn't really matter what they call it but somehow surgery freaks me out more than procedure). I also found out that they will do a D&C so my uterus is in good condition for transfer next month. When I heard D&C, I admit, I was like WTF!?!? I am really trying to resign myself to knowing this has to be done, but on the other hand, I feel very sad and like just giving up. I'm tired of putting so much effort, time and money into TTC without knowing if any of this will even give us a child. I'm tired of being poked, prodded, going thru procedures all for what!? I know I have very little to whine about here, considering some of you have gone through a million times more than what I have. I honestly don't know where you ladies pull the strength from. I have never even had a BFP, and yet I feel this way!? Ugh. Today, I really feel like I don't have what it takes to continue this fight and feel like giving up. I'm feeling weak and incapable, and I really hate feeling that way. We are 2+ years into TTC and yet the road ahead is still so long. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's not shining too brightly today. Thanks for reading this. I hope you are all in a better place and feeling well, no matter where you are in your cycles or if you are cycling! xoxo
Replies
First you kicked cancer\'s ass! You have been through more than your share and with that, it\'s no surprise you would want to stay as far away from doctors as possible.
2nd, we all wonder why me, why can\'t it be easy like it is for everyone else. To that, I have no answer. Yes it\'s unfair and sucks but we can\'t do anything about it. On most days I remember I have food on my table, people that love me and live in a country were my rights are protected. Then some days I just think it sucks.
A Hysteroscopy is either considere surgery or a procedure. It depends on the RE so it\'s probably not as bad as you think. It\'s still not a lap. I\'ve had both and the hysto is much easier to get over. As for the notion of D&C it\'s probably like the notion of making your oven nice and clean. I know it feels like a lot but time wise it\'s probable an extra 10 min of work since they are already there.
We are here for you. Your right a lot of us have gone through these procedures and can let you know what to expect. Don\'t hide from your feelings. That\'s why we are here, to offer each other support.
Good luck, I\'ll be thinking of you.
Oh friend! I am so sorry you have feeling this way. Going through this process for so long, I know it it weighting on you. You are stronger than you know. You have any ready endured so much and look at you - no one and nothing can break your strength! I will be praying for a safe surgery for you Thursday - I know it all sounds terribly scary and you just want it to all be over with and have your BFP - I\'m rooting for you xo
Thank you! Actually, I never had cancer, I had a benign tumor, THANK GOD!
Don\'t ever feel bad for anything!!! You\'ll do great. I actually had a Hysteroscopy along with my Laparoscopy for Endo.....they totally went in and cleaned everything out.....so hopefullyt his does the trick for you huN!!!
I\'m sending positive vibes for Thursday and just when you think it\'s too much, you find the strength from within. Best of luck!!!
What Roxy said, and loads LOADS of good luck/vibes for thursday!
I understand the defeated feeling. IF does that to us, no matter where we are in the journey. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and thursday will go great. My heart and thoughts are with you on thursday. Let us know how it goes and be kind to yourself.
We are all thinking of you for thrusday. I\'m sure it will go great and once you can actually feel like you are finally moving forward, it will probably be a little easier.
Hugs
So sorry you are feeling this way. I understand it all to well. I haven\'t been through half of what some other DS girls have been through and there are lots of days I feel defeated and not quite sure how I will continue this fight. Just know your not alone and I will be thinking of you Thurs...xoxo
Hang in there hon! You had such a good retirieval and now they are just doing the finishing touches so you can have a perfect transfer. I hope and pray all goes well today. Xoxo
So sorry you are feeling down. But the hysteroscopy is to get everything ready and perfect for your transfer! I am so glad I had mine done or we never would have found my septum and I most likely would have always miscarried, so they are a good thing! Good luck hun!
Will be thinking of you tomorrow, best of luck! This will get your ready for your transfer so hopefully you get that BFP! Big hugs!