Hypochondria is high…

I don't even know where to begin. I am so much mental distress. Anxiety is always there but lately it's been worse than ever before. I also believe I am severely depressed. It's affecting my mental and physical state and I am just so tired. I'm tired of the horrible fears and endless thoughts of tragedy and death from a terminal illness. My digestive system is a mess. Gnawing upper pain, bloating. Feels like I have to go constantly but I don't. Hopped into Mayo Clinic :( and stumbled upon colorectal cancer causes and symptoms. Now I feel certain symptoms and I don't know if it's due to overthinking or if I'm thinking because I felt the symptom. It's so absurd. I drive myself crazy. All I could think about are my children and family and how I can't die yet.

I started therapy yesterday. They prescribed Lexapro. Took it last night and this morning I felt like a zombie and nauseated. Immediately I associate the nausea with some type of gastro cancer. Why?! This has taken over my life and I'm sure affecting those around me. I want to be better. My mind is so ill. I had a child in December and I had a manic episode a few months after. OB felt it's post partum depression. 

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this.