hurts like hell

guess it was overdue but doesnt make it hurt any less. we had  a really fun night but she wasnt feeling well as usual so she didnt stay. she started off today asking if i have issues with her seeing her exes. because she hasnt seen them in awhile and sometimes likes to hang with them. i said no issue as long as not sleeping with them. it stated from there and went down hill. i said im only insecdure and get jealous because she acts like she hates me half the time and wants nothing to do with me sexually. she said she should have said something before but shes been trying to fix it but doesnt have feelings for me that way. hello news flash have none that for months. she said its all i talk about and said only cause wanted some kind of response from her cause cant deal with it anymore. we have so much fun together and im so attached to her that i feel like crawling in a corner and staying there for days. never hurt like this before. she wont talk to me this is all through text. she just keeps saying i dont know what to say she just feels like hell cause she failed me. i said it takes two. it was only on for maybe the first month. then it went down hill fast. i thought it was me cause my real first time. but how can you be with someone when they dont want to be touched at all. i wish i could just be her buddy. because honestly hate sex. been through hell and back just dont know what to do. how to pull my head out. i cant work like this. my  kids just keep hugging me. i dont wanna feel like this. need help