hurting bad

i am not in a healthy place. i am depressed and it hurts so bad. and i need help, i need to get myself help cause i dont know how much more i can stand. so as soon as my mom has the insurance up and going again im going to make an appointment with my docter and and tell her that im sick, that im depressed. and its so scary to admit i need it. but i cant handle this on my own anymore. its gettin out of controll and my thoughts are scarying me  and i dont know why i turned on daily strength for so long. but i also need to start useing this site agian. i miss it, and i miss talking to people who wont judge or belittle  so im going to do it i need help and i need it now