Hurtful Relationship with Mother in law

I've known my mother in law for 10 years and felt very close to her in the last 8 years but recently at the end of last year to this day our relationship has totally gone out the door. I admire her as a person and have learned a lot from her in the years we've gotten to know each other. I don't know how to feel or react to the hurtful things that she has accused me of. My poor husband is stuck in the middle and barely get's a response from her when he text or calls. I've been called a theif in the past with Christmas gifts that I was asked to deliver to her mother out of town. They found the gifts half a year later behind their sofa and never apologized. I love family and always strive for peace, it's just hard to do that when you know how someone feels about you for no reason or proof. I'm currently pregnant and out of no where she tells my husband that I'm a sneaky person, taken things from her mother's house who I was so kindly travel 1 hour everyday to be the caretaker(which I no longer am due to an environment that Ill be blamed and accused off everytime things get misplaced.) I think that she has just lost it and super paranoid. Of course my husband stands up for me when they were having these discussion only to be blame for taking sides and completely shut him out saying she don't want to talk to him. I've found myself not contacting her because she puts up a front that she victim and is upredictable on how she will respond seeing me. Before we found out we were expecting she made a rude acusation that it was my fault we weren't having any babies, that I must sneaking birth control pills prevent pregnancy. Just a week later I noticed I was spotting and sure enough the test showed positive. I was already 2 months but just wasn't aware of it since my cycles were irregular. When my husband told her we were having a baby she avoided bring up her accusation. I just want to get along like we use too but having a hard time know what she thinks of me even if she plays it off that she never said anything wrong or hurtful. I love my husband he's my best friend and yet I still feel bad that all this has taken a toll on their relationship as mother and son. Am I overreacting? I just don't know how to fix this relationship. Anyone out there having similar family issues?

Replies

BrokenBridges
BrokenBridges

I'm so sorry you are going thru this stress while expecting. Expecting sometimes is stressful enough. If you've done everything you can to make things work then you need to preserve yourself and the life of your baby by not being around the drama. The way I see it, your mother in law is guilty of something and trying to project onto you what she is guilty for. I too was getting along with my mother in law. For 14 yrs everything was great until my soon to be ex created a riff between us and she stopped talking to me. I ended up leaving and going to a women's shelter as my soon to be ex has controlling, manipulative tendencies. I am convinced he had planned all this along, but that is a whole other story (if you ever get to read all my journal entries).

Don't react to her. This is what she wants. And honestly, Id be pissed because your husband should be taking up for you.
Congratulations on your baby. Please message me anytime. If I said anything in this post to offend, Im sorry.

Broken Bridges.
mrs.villicana
mrs.villicana

Thanks for the positive support Broken Bridges, and no you didn't say anything to offend me at all!
That's a shame how he's ruining your relationship with your in law. It's scary sharing your life with a person you think you knew and end up blown away from the outcome of their actions. My husband and I will be married for 8 years in May and we've known each other for 10 years now. 3 years ago I didn't think we were going to make it, I was losing him to a drug addiction. God humbled him and he's staying clean and currently going to school to become a ordained minister. I'm very proud of him, but a times I still get afraid of the thought of relapse, but I trust that he will continue on this straight path doing things God's way. I hope for the best outcome for your divorce, all this will come to pass and life will go on.
ftmnursemom93
ftmnursemom93

It really sounds like this mother in law may have a mental illness ! If you have never took or stole from her in the past she is paranoid ! I wouldn’t allow her around until she changed ! I hate you have to go through this . Good luck love your way