Hurting
I have been doing my best to cope with the pain of the marriage ending and having to live with my stbx until I can move away the begining of next year. I told him I still love him but have accepted that we need to divorce which is what he wants. He's having an online affair with a woman who lives in Porto Rico. Their plan is for her to move here once I'm gone. She recently bought him a cell phone which I found out about by accident yesterday morning. I've also run into pictures of her he has downloaded by accident and have seen some of their chatting when he forgets to sign out of his email account. Last night I told him he had no idea what his flaunting this woman in my face is doing to me. This morning he sent me a very hurtful email saying how badly he was hurting and wanted me to hurt as bad as he is. I answered him back honestly and without being nasty. I'm going to keep my distance from him for the rest of the weekend and try to get a little peace for myself.
Replies
Ugh! I am so sorry your dealing with this. He will find that the grass is not greener. The internet can be a bad place. I really wish you well and hope this resolves for you soon. It must hurt a lot to have to deal with being in the same house together.
I am so sorry, Lauren. What a horrible situation. It\'s not easy being alone, but it\'s better than having to see and hear all that he\'s doing. My prayers are with you. Vent anytime!
I\'m sorry Laura,..but I just have to say,...\"What a JERK!!\" HE is hurting?! How so?!
Anyway. Deep breath. This is one of those situation that just suck the life out of your soul. And, I\'m so sorry you have to go through this :O/
Online affairs seem to happen more and more nowadays. Technology has created new demons for us to deal with. I have been a party to internet relationships, and found quite quickly that once you are together in person..they are nothing like what your mind conjured up.
He is in for one hell of a ride; which.. is his own doing.
Wonder if you can arrange to move sooner? I went through severe depression the last 24 hours, after my STBX and I decided I should move sooner,..but today I feel really anxious. I want my own space, fix up my Woman Cave - and most importantly not knowing what the STBX is doing in any way, shape or form.
*Hugs!
Laura,
It amazes me how people cry that they are hurt, even when they are the ones who initiated the separation as well as the divorce itself.
I have to say, and, please, forgive my language: This guy is a self-centered, narcissitic asshole! How could one do as he is doing as he is and then not even consider (given that you are BOTH in the same household under the worst of conditions) his actions in relation to you? This is like crapping in your bed and then forcing you to just sleep in it! Even cats and dogs won\'t do this!
I am sorry that you have to wait as you must before he moves out.
Let me guide you in one statement that you made, OK? Here it goes:
You wrote: I\'m going to keep my distance from him for the rest of the weekend and try to get a little peace for myself.
You should write as well as determine that: I\'m going to keep my distance from him for the rest of the time that he is here and try to get as much peace for myself as I can. I damned well deserve it!
Take care . . .
Laura, Anyse\'s words are absolute truth! Your stbx IS a self-centered, narcisstic asshole and that\'s about as politely as it CAN be put! You deserve so much better! Perhaps there is a way for this Hell to be over with sooner...but in the meantime, I would do my best to IGNORE him and not be tempted to look at or read anything he might deliberately leave on the computer for you to see. It takes a lot of focus to start putting your needs first, but the results are well worth it.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.