Hurry Spring
Well here it is one week until Valentines day. It is so cold here. I have not been this stiff in a long time. I love snow. I love to watch it fall, it is one of Gods wonders that I love. I am ready for spring now though. I can't take the cold like I use too. It just makes me ache all over. The kids have had 2 snow days this week which is unheard of. Here in Cecil County MD> it has to be bad for them to cancel All other counties will close or close early, not us. So we were really surprised when it went from 2 hr. delay to closed today. I don't think the kids were complaining. My daughter loves school. we are lucky for that. She always has liked school and always done well. Well we are going out with another couple on Valentines Day to Bone Fish Grille. It will be our first time eating there. I hear it is good. Well we actually go back to the doctor that day too. A long trip to NJ. I cannot wait until this nightmare is over.I just want a normal life again. Normal what doea normal fel like? I have been sick so many years I don't know if I know what normal is. It takes it's toll on you living in chronic pain. Sure pills can dull the pain but it never realy goes away. My sister has Lyme and refuses to get treatment because well I don't understand why. She is now being told it is haer gallbladder. She said she doesn't want to gothrough the doctor nightmares I have gone through to get a diagnosis. I yold her Igenex, one test and you will know. She don't have that knid of money but she can smoke a carton of cigarettes a week. I am just scared for her and my brother both. They are both living very stressfull lives brought om by themselves but still. They don't take care of themselves. My dad died at 53 from a major stroke. I really think it was Lyme related. The symptoms he was showing. It was 15 years ago and Lyme was hardly even mentioned back then. Told he had cushings syndrome. Well that is it for now. I will just keep praying for everyone and know God will do his will and that is fine. I love my God and am so thankfull he saved me. I am still struggling to be where I nned to be with him but I will get there. I want to serve him with my whole heart and soul and do what I was put on this earth to do. Just wish he would show ne what that was. We like our new church very much too. Well thats it for now my hands are hurting.
Replies
I have a friend who says \"Normal is just a setting on your dryer.\" That\'s about right, isn\'t it? Our sense of what\'s normal changes as our lives change. Normal does not equal good; our new normal includes chronic pain and fatigue, right? Hopefully the normal we get when this is over will be w/o pain! And then, don\'t forget that heaven is coming.
As hard as our txs can be, and as costly, doesn\'t your sister realize that to do nothing at all is going to be eventually harder and more costly? And who isn\'t afraid of finding out they have this lovely disease?
Your journal reminded me of the Psalms, where David airs all his problems to God, but then ends with praise and a statement of faith -- that\'s what you did.
I used to know this lady at our old church who kept saying that she was seeking God and what His will was for her life, but her home was a wreck, her marriage strained and her relationship with her daughters one of constant fighting and manipulation. We did Bible study together for a while. Her idea of what God\'s will looked like for her was of going on exotic mission trips or some other big or exciting thing. I kept trying to tell her that keeping an orderly home, having a good marriage and actually parenting her daughters were possibly what God had in mind for her to do. Everyone in that household were miserable. She just did not like that idea at all.
Some people were called to those \"big\" things, but I really think most of us are called to be simple people of great faith right where we are. Don\'t think for one minute that people aren\'t looking at you to see how you handle this illness in relation to your faith. Do you know what I mean? He knows how much you love Him and seek to serve Him, and He honors that. I hope this is encouraging to you.
Hugs to you,
Laura