Hunkering Down
Well, I feel like I am hunkering down to weather the storms ahead... the holidays. I usually have a really hard time coping with this time of year as I am unable to socialize very well when I'm at family gatherings. It's painful. The last few years my adult children (with my husband's and my encouragement) have spent the holidays with their spouse's families... it's SO stressful to spread themselves so thin going to all the households plus trying to observe the holidays in their own homes with their own children...
So, my husband and I spend the holidays off alone. That's okay, we enjoy the quiet, and I especially don't miss the serious recovery I always go through after visiting groups of people, but I still feel really lonely. I think it's mostly because "the whole world" it seems, is doing the huge family gathering thing... and I just can't. My husband is always understanding and we have a nice dinner, just the two of us, so that's really nice.
I guess it's the feeling leftover from when I was growing up that I just didn't "belong". I know I never will be able to socialize, but it's still hard.
A friend made some good suggestions and I have already been working on them... one, having a visual image to think about whenever I feel myself getting sad. I have two visuals so far, and have been too busy with work to get them clear in my mind, but it HAS helped. I've felt myself getting sad (usually when a co-worker asks "what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" and then proceeds to tell me all about his huge get-together, with all the family, or something like that) and I just visualized the two images, and wa-la! My feelings were rescued! : )
Sigh... being alone isn't so bad. I like my own company. And, I can always come here to DS : )
Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (anyone who might read this : )
Robin : )
So, my husband and I spend the holidays off alone. That's okay, we enjoy the quiet, and I especially don't miss the serious recovery I always go through after visiting groups of people, but I still feel really lonely. I think it's mostly because "the whole world" it seems, is doing the huge family gathering thing... and I just can't. My husband is always understanding and we have a nice dinner, just the two of us, so that's really nice.
I guess it's the feeling leftover from when I was growing up that I just didn't "belong". I know I never will be able to socialize, but it's still hard.
A friend made some good suggestions and I have already been working on them... one, having a visual image to think about whenever I feel myself getting sad. I have two visuals so far, and have been too busy with work to get them clear in my mind, but it HAS helped. I've felt myself getting sad (usually when a co-worker asks "what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" and then proceeds to tell me all about his huge get-together, with all the family, or something like that) and I just visualized the two images, and wa-la! My feelings were rescued! : )
Sigh... being alone isn't so bad. I like my own company. And, I can always come here to DS : )
Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (anyone who might read this : )
Robin : )
Replies
Here is what we do, since I\'m not able to handle the huge crowds for very long, when we go, we visit for about an hour, then go do something quietly, and on to the next event. However, I also do the visualization to help me master those awkward moments of someone \"bragging\", I picture them with a pantie wedgie being so \"pleasant\"...as well as the view that gives me the warm fuzzies inside.