huffing........
Call it a mother's intuition, call it having eyes in the back of my head, call it whatever ya want ~ I was right. Although I knew he huffed the computer aerosol spray hearing it from another mom only confirmed it. She told me that her son told her that when he and the rest of the friends found out that T was huffing ~ they all got on his case about using it. How ironic is that? Drug using friend peer pressuring him not to use a "drug". That actually is comforting. Scary that my son is doing it but comforting knowing that T is just getting pressure from us but from his friends as well.
Although I was the one who found it under our son's bed, my husband wanted to be the one to say he was the one who found it and told me that he'd talk to him. He did and T told him that the spray was for the lens on his camera. Well, how did it get under the bed? Easy answer: "It rolled out of my backpack and under the bed". "Oh - Dad - by the way ~ the manufacturers have taken the addictive ingredient out of the cans so you can't get high on them anymore." Apparently, he sounded pretty convincing because my husband appeared to believe him. I asked him later if he did and he said no but he still doesn't seem to see the red flags or the urgency to do "something".
So it out with my husband last night and I think "we" made some progress. Based on the conversation we had (prior to last night) I told my husband that now is the opportunity to take advantage of the court (our son is in a first time offender diversion court for young adults) and not make it easier for him by paying the court fees. It's clear that my husband doesn't buy into it. He told me that we're dealing with a 14 year old in a 19 year old boy's body and that we need to help him. I tried explaining to him about the enabling "thing" but he doesn't see it that way. In our parent program we talk about the difference between helping and enabling. Helping - doing things for people who cannot do things by themselves. Enabling - doing things for others who are capable. Since my husband says that our son is really 14 we need to help him. Help him get a job. I have no problem helping him to that but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Thankfully ~ going to the parent support group, two Al Anon meetings, talking to a drug counselor, a friend, my sister, and to the faith sharing group ~ all helped!!! Now if I can only start playing soccer again! Had my last physical therapy session and feeling better. Not 100% but A LOT better!!!
Although I was the one who found it under our son's bed, my husband wanted to be the one to say he was the one who found it and told me that he'd talk to him. He did and T told him that the spray was for the lens on his camera. Well, how did it get under the bed? Easy answer: "It rolled out of my backpack and under the bed". "Oh - Dad - by the way ~ the manufacturers have taken the addictive ingredient out of the cans so you can't get high on them anymore." Apparently, he sounded pretty convincing because my husband appeared to believe him. I asked him later if he did and he said no but he still doesn't seem to see the red flags or the urgency to do "something".
So it out with my husband last night and I think "we" made some progress. Based on the conversation we had (prior to last night) I told my husband that now is the opportunity to take advantage of the court (our son is in a first time offender diversion court for young adults) and not make it easier for him by paying the court fees. It's clear that my husband doesn't buy into it. He told me that we're dealing with a 14 year old in a 19 year old boy's body and that we need to help him. I tried explaining to him about the enabling "thing" but he doesn't see it that way. In our parent program we talk about the difference between helping and enabling. Helping - doing things for people who cannot do things by themselves. Enabling - doing things for others who are capable. Since my husband says that our son is really 14 we need to help him. Help him get a job. I have no problem helping him to that but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Thankfully ~ going to the parent support group, two Al Anon meetings, talking to a drug counselor, a friend, my sister, and to the faith sharing group ~ all helped!!! Now if I can only start playing soccer again! Had my last physical therapy session and feeling better. Not 100% but A LOT better!!!
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