How to tell the Children..Dad Has Cancer-Sept 14
The night before as we laid in bed holding each other in our arms as tears streamed down our faces, we knew there were ones we had to let then know, we need first of all to sit down with our children that Dad was sick, that he had Cancer, and that we were going to assure them that no matter what we were first going to trust God to take care of us all, we were going to tell them of our love for them and that together as a family we were going to do everything we could to help Daddy get rid of the cancer.....That was the plan...
That day having no ideal what type of cancer my husband had, I went to the library...I found every book I could on the subject....and with every book that I read, with every article that I found.....the tears flowed down my face as I read that no one, no one in the stage he was in....which was Stage 4 Melanoma......no one had survived longer than six months.....I remember as I sat there in the library tears streaming down my face how was I going to sit with my children that evening with my husband(who had not ideal the extent of this cancer) and stay calm, keep the tears and the horrid feelings of knowing that they were going to lose their dad and I was going to lost my husband....Where was I going to get the strength to get through what I knew that I had to face that evening....how were my children going to be able to handle the news....but I knew it was something that we had to do......
As usual, I fixed the evening mean....with four boys and a husband, who could eat us out of house and home.....I fixed one of their favorite "moms' meal....I cooked the biggest pot of homemade vegetable soup.....As I prepared the meal that afternoon.....as I set the table for us to gather around....to hear of the boys day and how school had been....I kept myself strong....I knew that this was something that we had to wait until the right moment to sit down and explain to the boys how our life was going to change, the surgery their dad was going to be facing in a few day and how we were going to be strong as a family and to especially let them know that no matter, we loved each of them with all our hearts..................
Ken had just turned 15, Jeff 12, Brent 11 and Shawn 7.......this would be the first time that they would hear that anyone in our family had cancer....Yet they knew what cancer meant...it meant to them someone was going to die....I guess at any age it really doesn't matter, but being told that something that you know as a child will kill you, you are going to be told that your dad, your parent has the word that no one wants to tell their child their parent has.......It was now dinner time......
We were all gathered in the dining room, of course the boys talking and laughing...enjoying themselves as normal.....We said our prayer and were preparing to eat....when all of a sudden out of no where.....with me setting there in total disbelief.....their dad blurts out to them "I HAVE CANCER!" "I'm going to die"
The world stopped at that moment in our dinning room.....with spoons in our hands they dropped to the table....I looked at my boys not believing that without any warning.....they now knew their dad had cancer....as I looked at each one of the boys, I started seeing the tears start to build in their eyes....as they looked down at their bowl of soup.....There were no words to be said....the boys just sat there with there heads hanging down as the tears began to roll down their cheeks.....
I sat there....looking at my children with tears and sadness feeling their entire beings......tears now flowing that could not be stopped....unbelief on their faces...the scared look of hearing.....our dad is going to die......Me
Me, I sat there stunned, confused, wondering why, and what now can I do to help my children get through this horrible news.....
Slowly and quietly each of the boys came and hugged their dad and retreated to their rooms.....
What had been planned to share with the children that their dad had cancer and that we were going to do everything and trust God to handle it all....and that no matter, we were a family and we would get through this together....Now everything had changed.....
What to do at that moment next...I sat there alone at the dining table wondering....
Now What?...............
cont...
That day having no ideal what type of cancer my husband had, I went to the library...I found every book I could on the subject....and with every book that I read, with every article that I found.....the tears flowed down my face as I read that no one, no one in the stage he was in....which was Stage 4 Melanoma......no one had survived longer than six months.....I remember as I sat there in the library tears streaming down my face how was I going to sit with my children that evening with my husband(who had not ideal the extent of this cancer) and stay calm, keep the tears and the horrid feelings of knowing that they were going to lose their dad and I was going to lost my husband....Where was I going to get the strength to get through what I knew that I had to face that evening....how were my children going to be able to handle the news....but I knew it was something that we had to do......
As usual, I fixed the evening mean....with four boys and a husband, who could eat us out of house and home.....I fixed one of their favorite "moms' meal....I cooked the biggest pot of homemade vegetable soup.....As I prepared the meal that afternoon.....as I set the table for us to gather around....to hear of the boys day and how school had been....I kept myself strong....I knew that this was something that we had to wait until the right moment to sit down and explain to the boys how our life was going to change, the surgery their dad was going to be facing in a few day and how we were going to be strong as a family and to especially let them know that no matter, we loved each of them with all our hearts..................
Ken had just turned 15, Jeff 12, Brent 11 and Shawn 7.......this would be the first time that they would hear that anyone in our family had cancer....Yet they knew what cancer meant...it meant to them someone was going to die....I guess at any age it really doesn't matter, but being told that something that you know as a child will kill you, you are going to be told that your dad, your parent has the word that no one wants to tell their child their parent has.......It was now dinner time......
We were all gathered in the dining room, of course the boys talking and laughing...enjoying themselves as normal.....We said our prayer and were preparing to eat....when all of a sudden out of no where.....with me setting there in total disbelief.....their dad blurts out to them "I HAVE CANCER!" "I'm going to die"
The world stopped at that moment in our dinning room.....with spoons in our hands they dropped to the table....I looked at my boys not believing that without any warning.....they now knew their dad had cancer....as I looked at each one of the boys, I started seeing the tears start to build in their eyes....as they looked down at their bowl of soup.....There were no words to be said....the boys just sat there with there heads hanging down as the tears began to roll down their cheeks.....
I sat there....looking at my children with tears and sadness feeling their entire beings......tears now flowing that could not be stopped....unbelief on their faces...the scared look of hearing.....our dad is going to die......Me
Me, I sat there stunned, confused, wondering why, and what now can I do to help my children get through this horrible news.....
Slowly and quietly each of the boys came and hugged their dad and retreated to their rooms.....
What had been planned to share with the children that their dad had cancer and that we were going to do everything and trust God to handle it all....and that no matter, we were a family and we would get through this together....Now everything had changed.....
What to do at that moment next...I sat there alone at the dining table wondering....
Now What?...............
cont...
Replies