How to live with Cancer?
It's been a long while since I've written anything. Not sure where to start. I believe I wrote about my blood markers that were taken back in August. They were good and the doctor wanted to see me the end of October. Well by the end of September I was beginning to have dizzy spells. I contacted by doctor after about 10 days. When I saw her she decided to order my scans. My doctor didn't seem alarmed as far as the cancer was concerned, but figured we'll go ahead and get the scans a few weeks early. She did also lower a dose of medication I take for neuropathy. So on Monday I will get all the results of my scans(PET, mammogram & ultrasound). Hopefully they are good, but it's really difficult not to worry or think about all the "what ifs". I guess that's what I am having difficulty with now. How do you continue to live with cancer hanging over your head? I don't know how to do it. Especially on the days I don't feel well, I think it would be easier not to hurt and not to fight. I feel awful thinking that way. I feel guilty thinking that way because of my kids sake. What would they think about their Mom not wanting to fight and being around for them? I guess I really don't have any answers. At least not yet. It's still a lot to process for me and I hope I can. Maybe on Monday, if my results are good, it will be a little easier moving on. Let's hope.