how to help him

I suppose I can't help my oldest son any more than my other two if he isn't willing to listen.  I know that he is very down right now because I can hear it in his voice.  Who wouldn't be in his position?  At 24 years of age ~ unemployed for about 3 months ~ he's in a deep rut and can't seem to get out of it.  He appears to be immobilized to really do anything and I believe he's very depressed.  I hope and pray that he will be able to get himself back on track but right now - it doesn't appear to me that this is going to happen anything soon.  
All his life he's been very engaged in life.  An honor student through high school and college ~ he was very involved in all kinds of activities - president of this club - president of that, volunteering in a Christian youth group ~ while maintaining his grades,  and holding down jobs and now........  he is struggling - big time.  
I'm doing my best to encourage him - suggesting small things he can try and tackle - and although he seems receptive to my ideas ~ I don't know.  I tried this before but it didn't work so I stopped.  I hope today he contacts his college and look into getting help at their job placement center.  I even sent him a link.  So we'll see.
About the job he lost ~ it was a low paying warehouse job.  He was fired!  He had lost that job before because of budget cuts and then was re-hired back into the same position a few months later.  He told us that his manager's boss became more involved in the daily operations because she was under a lot of stress trying to make up for the lay-offs they shouldn't have made to begin with.  He had his job down pat - but she had other ways of doing it - he says - so she was constantly knit picking.  So when he didn't show up to work one morning (this isn't him AT ALL) she had a good excuse to let him go.  His immediate boss really liked him and would have given him a break since he was always a very good worker.  
This depression isn't the first time it hit him - twice in college ~ ~ one because of a breakup with a girl ~ and the other (senior year had to drop a semester) ~ I believe he was struggling with what he was going to do with his life once he graduated.  And on top of that - he gained lots of weight.  Unlike my other bean pole boys - he is the complete opposite.  Poor guy.
For so long - (before high school) life in our family was so picture "perfect" - no issues - things just ran smoothly - the kids were well-behaved - teachers loved them - no problems.  Now? That's life.  Like most people - we all have something.   
Today I'm doing a bit better - can you tell?  Well - for one thing - our presentation is ready and I'm pleased with it.  Now I will just have to practice.  

Replies

donna7455
donna7455

This economy is so tough on so many young people. He is not alone among college graduates. It\'s common enough that universities sometimes offer support groups for the unemployed in addition to their career counseling. I work at a university and we have this here.

My daughter is going to graduate next year and will have a degree in education, at a time when schools are having massive teacher layoffs. I\'m concerned she will end up in the same boat as your son, so my husband and I have been thinking of ideas for her if she can\'t find a job. The two best options, other than continuing to work her part-time job, are graduate school and volunteer work. Graduate school will get her a better job when the economy improves and it makes good use of her time. Volunteer work keeps her busy, makes her feel good about herself, and will look good on her resume. Sometimes it can also turn into a permanent job. Maybe he could even do something way outside the box such as Peace Corps or Teach for America. Again, it will keep him busy until the economy improves, give him a wonderful experience, and look terrific on his resume.
mom-of-3
mom-of-3

Funny you suggested the Peace Corp. That was his initial plan to join it right after he graduated from college but then changed his mind. He has been active in volunteering for a youth group and is still involved in it. In fact, this youth group is what had been preventing him from looking for jobs outside of where he lives. Right now he is trying to get a part-time job with the historical society where he lives. He\'s a political and history major with a minor in international studies that would interest him. It is getting harder out there to find a job......
bambusue
bambusue

Well, he\'s at a tender age, and we all know how tough times are for anyone looking for a job.
At least he has the youth group to keep going. That is good for a lot of reasons. I imagine your emotional support is the most important thing to him
I\'m glad you are ready for your next presentation. Will be interested to see how it goes, and hope for the best.