How to be sick...
I guess I am learning skills I never hoped I would need. I feel like I have come so far, but still have no idea how to be a sick person. In my mind, I still think - why can't I do this or that; why does this or that happen??? The answer is simple. I am sick, and I just can't do anything about it. My body does what it wants, despite me.I used to be so in control of everything. If I wanted something, I got it. I didn't even have patience with people who couldn't do what I did. I didn't understand.This has been the lesson of a lifetime. And, I get the point. But, it still hasn't sunk in. I still beat myself up for sitting around, being lazy. I just had brain surgery! The worst part is - I really don't want to get better at this. I don't want to have to. It sounds stubborn, childish, and defeatist, I know.But, what happens when I give in? Will I finally grieve the loss of my former self? I can't face it. I don't think I can get through it.
Replies
You can and you will. One step at a time and you will leave it behind you. Before you know it you\'ll be on the other side of it helping someone else who\'s struggling through the same place you are now. Just keep going Katie, you\'re almost there.
Hugs,
Rose
I second that you will get through it, and yes you will mourn the loss of your former self. I know I did and still am. I go to do something and can\'t understandy why is is so hard now when it seemed so simple previously. With time comes acceptance of who you are. You learn patience and you learn tolerance of others and yourself. You learn to re-evaluate yourself and come to acceptance of yourself.
Hang in there. We\'re here to support you!
Northwest2
It\'s like you\'re telling my story and probably the story of many others with this ...We are here for you when you need us and by sharing your story and getting it out in words. YOU are starting to \"handle\" it!! GOOD WORK!! and thanks!!!!!
Wow! The words \"stubborn, childish, and defeatist\" sure sound familiar... I\'m trying to teach myself that I am not losing my former self, I am working on becoming a better self. One that is more appreciative, more sympathetic, and more tolerant.