How to Argue with a Drunk / youtube

youtube notes:

1. decide you are never going to argue w/ a drunk again. and KNOW they are not going to change. 

2. I can't control their behavior. They LIE. Alcoholics lie. Broken engagements. They are not reliable. they do not follow thru. (MM)

3. They cancel / they don't show / broken engagements is just part of who they are / they tell u what they think u want to hear 

4. Not going to ever yell at you again / that's a lie / they said they were not going to argue again / that's a lie / they do not work to change their behavior / they are addicted to yelling or arguing or their own emotions

5. never have control of their behaviors / they do not have control of their behaviors

6. change what I am doing / stop confronting them about their behavior bc it is not going to change / let it go bc it is the disease / this is part of what a dry drunk and drunk does / do not participate in their behaviors 

Alcoholics are GREAT manipulators / youtube vid

1. brain becomes the drunk's worst enemy. they learn to reward itself and repeat bad behaviors / addicted to anger, high emotions good and bad

2. they seek their fixes / shopping for mddm / screaming / yelling / crisis / their brain and emotions are their worst enemy

3. they go into manipulative mode to get their fix and to get what they want... 

4. YOU POOR THING.. you deserve someone to come running to your crisis... they feel sorry for themselves 

5. they will get their fix at any cost / even at the cost of YOUR emotional depletion... and YOUR fatigue / in fact... the more YOU have to sacrifice that means the MORE YOU LOVE THEM> / they think that they can get what they need at YOUR expense... seen this many times w/ mddm

Toxic people 

1. they look to inflict damage / they are mean / they want to just argue / they aren't tryin gto solve problems. they are just wanting to scream and vent their toxic emotions

2. they are insecure and take it out on you / they don't come to you with real emotions / they make things a fight / 

3. they treat things like it is an attack / can't be honest w/ my emotions with mddm bc she takes it too personal / are too aggressive in anger / afraid to bring up problems with them. /agonizing to talk to them about my real feelings / 

4. YOU are the root of all their problems / it is YOUR fault / YOU don't understand / YOU aren't doing what I want YOU to do / they have expectations that you don't want to meet / they become manipulating and when you can 't be manipulated they get VERY VERY mad 

5. they will show you the MOST love when you are HURTING and when you are on your knees / they make you feel like crap and then they want to act like your best friend. / they only feel safe when YOU are feeling weak. / they are not comfortable when you don't feel NEEDY towards them / they love you and they hate you / that is mddm / they feel threatened when you don't need them / they get detached or they hate you / they overreact / they will be your best friend until you do something they don't LIKE... lol... manipulation