how should i go about dealing with this?
Ok so in my family, im like viewed as the lowest and viewed as the most UNsuccessful person in my family, cuz its the truth, its how things have always went. my sister would always get viewed as the highest and most successful person over me cuz she has a high paying job, great friends great boyfriend, shes never been single ever and like everything great happens to her and she gets everything handed to her, her whole life. so she grew up spoiled and i didn't cuz my family didnt just hand everything to me and we grew up in the same family. and a while ago when she landed a good job my parents like praised her so much and i know thats a normal thing for parents to do but with me standing in the room it made me feel like crap and yesterday she just bought herself a new car and again my parents praised her like so much like yay for the new car, with me in the room too. and i had to be so happy for her to her face or my parents would have been mad at me for not saying congrats and all that. i know being jealous isnt a good thing at all but its like im feeling more hurt than that. But my question is how do i not let all of this hurt me? and how do i not hurt from how im viewed not hurt so much?
Replies
Huggs you. you are just as good as if not better than her because you will deserve getting things by earning them and not by someone just handing it over. It does not seem fair but you will learn so much more than her and will have compassion for others and you will NOT be selfish. You are an awesome young lady and dont let other put you down. Just try to rise above their abuse. Huggs and love xoxo
wow thats terrible. You kno, for some mysterious reason people do actually fall for the misconception that the more successful one is the more worthwhile they are, thus they deserve more care and love than an unsuccessful person. Well who said that? Who said that people should be successful to be worthwhile? For just being a human you are of great value. Its their mistake that they aren\'t able to see the potential in u. That they dont believe in what isnt seen NOW but i kno it that u are as much willing as ur sister and ur CAPABLE of whatever u want. If u haven\'t become successful accordin to the society standards, dont worry what REALLY matters is ur standards. Because in the end its ur life and if anyone should be proud of u should be u. Sure it feels good seein others, especially family, praising us, but not all people kno what they are doin. Some are just followin the *social scripts* they are accustomed to. Just keep ur expectations of what u might get from those whom u cant change low, set the standards and be proud as u attain them. Its not ur fault, anyone in ur place would be jealous. They cant just do that and expect u not bein so. However u dont want to show it, they cant see from ur perspective. Do what makes u feel good about urself in such situations, show respect and cheerfulness and be nice to urself too. Its life.
It\'s sounds like you really had a rough childhood and it\'s overflowing into your adult life. You are a good person and successful in your own ways. Not everyone is successful in the ways that many parents and teachers consider success. Unfortunately, this does hurt us when we do not get recognized for what we do well, while others are constantly being recognized for their achievements.
First of all, try hard to be happy for your sister and not have negative feelings towards her. It\'s not her fault. Even if she\'s picked up on the negative attitudes from your parents, it\'s still not her fault. It\'s never good to compare ourselves or our kids with others. Only brings heartache and leads to jealousy.
Focus on what you do well and enjoy your life. Know that God loves you and you have lots of friends here on DS.
I\'m praying for you. God bless you!
THE PAST IS ONLY PROLOGUE. AT THIRTY, YOU ARE NOT EVEN STARTED YET. YOUR \"POWER YEARS\" ARE JUST BEGUN! MY FRIEND, DR VIVA, MADE SOME VERY GOOD OBSERVATIONS IN THE POST ABOVE MY FRIEND, KARENS. YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE, BUT YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO BELIEVE TOTALLY IN THE DREAM YOU SET YOURSELF. SO DREAM BIG, BELIEVE IN GOD AND YOURSELF. AND YOU WILL SEE THE DREAM GROW LEGS AND START MOVING !!!!
Keep your head up. You are just as great as your sister, or anyone else for that matter :) (Now I just need to learn to take my own advice, heehee). But its what makes us all unique. You are awesome! Never forget it.