How pathetic do i feel..

Woke up this morning after about 3 hours sleep to get ready for a fun day at work. As soon as i opened my eyes i got that dread feeling, the "bad" butterfly's in the stomach and started getting nauseated. My depression has increased by about 700% since my wife told me she wanted to split and she is now seeing someone eles. I moved back in with my parents which is going to be tough as it is.  All day' i've had to fight to urge to text her, and just tell her I want kid's I want this to work, and we need to give this another chance, but how can I? She started seeing a, "friend" the day after we split, there was no healing process, time, or respect shown...also they work together. Sigh. I'm gravitating to her, i feel like im not right if shes not around but when she is I want to fucking lose it because of the whole situation. I have no idea how i am going to get through this.  I know she's going away with this guy and a few friends from work this weekend, its been eating at me all week...I'll be home, feeling like I want to die and she'll be having a ball with a new relationship...I supported her financially for 4 year's, helped her over come her anxiety and agoraphobia only to be kicked in the face for some other dude. Which according to her "Everyones putting way to be emphasis on him.." Which is bullshit, THAT is my issue, to see her move on so quickly, so effortlesly. I cant think about dating or seeing someone eles, because all i can fucking think about is her. Pathetic much? Ya. I'm not sure how i'm going to deal this weekend, im dreading it, i want this work week to last for 2 years. Jesus.  I dont think she has any idea of what a broken man she has made me, I was depressed, my anxiety and panic attack's started about 7-8 months ago...Bi-polar episode again, and she decides now's a great time to drop this on me. Way to go. Thanks...yet i still feel so guilty and feel this is all my fault? How fucked is that. I'm going to stop writing now because I'm just getting more and more pissed off.